Mike Farge

2004-07-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Happiness Is A Warm Gun," The Beatles

Being in Missoula is booooring! My room is now a guest room and if I want to listen to anything besides the radio (on my Emerson, Lake and Palmer boom-box) I have to borrow a CD from my mom. The one good thing is there is now a new post.

I traded in my Jaguar and Ultimate Chorus today for a Gibson SG standard. It's pretty fucking rocking. I broke it in at practice today. We ruled and they are probably crying right now about losing me.

Man, I have like zero to do. I've been playing some Super Mario World and even tried to watch a little television. T.V. sucks! I thought maybe I'd missed out on something (not anime-related) in the past two or so weeks. Nope. I've also been helping out with the TotalFest scene: helping make shirts and pound hamburger patties. It's like the highlight of my day.

Gout, goat.

2004-06-07T11:28:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "The Harder They Come," Peter Tosh

So I was watching this interview with some rabbi on good morning america today, and he stated what about 1% of all men do not cheat on their wives/ girlfriends. I got to thinking, wow man, what have I been missing out on? Is this some unspoken rule/privilage that i've not embraced throughout my youth? He also said a good way for porno addicts to find their old wives attractive again is to install web cams around the house and watch doing sexy/normal household tasks. What the #@($#?!?

I tried to get SOnic youth tickets at a small venue here, but it sold out on Dicketmaster in :30 seconds. It's just another one of those gay publicity/industry shows you'll hear about in the first pages of Rolling Stone talking about some "Secret show at a small venue." fuck that shit. Oh well, J Mascis is playing to the same night. I drank on an empty stomach at some frat bar and ended up taking a cab home early. On the way home, I made the cabbie pull over while I puked on the curb. He had trouble holding back the vomit himself from the smell, but I did a good job of getting it on the inside of his car panel. Upon getting home, I tipped him, charged the fare on my credit card, and got some rags and409 from my house to help clean up the mess. I got my credit card bill the other day, and disputed the overcharge to find out the cab company charges a $10.00 vomit fee. Guess it happens all the time.

2004-06-06T02:09:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "President's Day" Loudon Wainwright III ( a rare political song on http://www.lwiii.com (it totally rules, I wish I wrote it)).

Tonight the Backside Ramblerz opened up for Dove and holy shit. Dove is amazing heavy metal ala-Karp. It fucking blew my fucking my mind. If you ever have an opportunity to see them do it. They will fuck the spelling out of you.

Also, it's pretty awesome when your mom likes an anti-George Bush song by an old, uh, "new Bob Dylan."

Oh, and when we played tonight there was a disgusting amount of "Reagan's Dead" jokes and references. I guess he wasn't too popular with the rockers. But... When I think about it, I would rather have him president than our current crusader.

Carpe Diem Peter

2004-06-04T04:27:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Gz and Hustlerz," Snoop Doggy Dogg

Eff memorial day diners and bankers. Eff Them.

I am sick of the dirtball crustpunk harcore I-won't-talk-to-you-if-you-spend-money-on-food-rather-than-get-hooked-up-by-your-friends-or-dig-out-of-trashcan-ass-motherfuckin gossip centre PaGG has become. Homefully Dave's departure will aleviate some of this nuisence.

Talib Kweli:
We showed up some 10-15 minutes after he went on (10:30!!) and we were informed that he was only playing for another 30-40 minutes and the tickets were still $25, so the Foosball Owl of Death and I conferred and settled on staying in the Grill and watching him on the realtime TV. I think it was the right choice. The show seemed sort of lackluster, with TKG not that enthusiastic(and weird sounding), the crowd lackluster, and me realizing (again) that I really dig LIVE bands and hiphop shows are just strange. Anyway some upsides were when a crowdgoer tossed water on TKG and he, midsong, switched gears and freestyled: paraphrased, of course, "why you want to spray water on me at my own show, I don't care if this is Portland OR, I don't care if you ARE gay or lesbian" Blau!! with the specific (accurate) Portland-stereotype taunt. Also, TKG's spitting posture was quirkily cool, a rigid left arm mic/right arm dealing cards/jerking off/MJJ Thriller move type spastic movement. Strange, but cool, I must say. Also an interesting "Elenor Rigby" sample and a supremely gay "Everything She Does is Magic" sample are probably on the horizon.

You in the back, with the French Braids,
Freedom C. Rock

PS. Baby Gorilla Heal!

PPS. STELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-05-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Home Cookin'" Eric Burdon and WAR
Song of the Day: "Green Desert," Tangerine Dream
Song of the Day: "Fly, Fly, The Route, Shoot," If

HOo daw. Am I tired. 128 Emails, fack. All shite. I have to say, I felt pretty naked with the computer at the practice space. Recoreding has been oh-so-rocking so far. Skyler pulls through at the most unexpected times. SHould have a passable demo soon. It is so great to be recording new shit again. . . my favorite "work" in the world.

After all sorts of drama, and an almost yelling match/fistfight with a coworker, all is swell in the land of Freedom. . . Rock. Plus, tomorrow night I battle Talib Kweli in an impromptu freestyle battle.* And WIN!! Just like DesmondTutu KneeChild Saddle, Edwin!!!

You know those dipshits that wear the jerseys and shirts that always, always feature "69" as the uniform number? I was thinking. What the fuck? These are the very same voids that staunchly refuse to ever go down on a girl. What a quandry!! Gonads.

I have been having a grand old time reading the 300+ pages I saved from the salvaged cunch.blogspot.com archives from the last 3 years. Good thing we make no sense at all, eh? I think I might have to make them one file and make it downloadable on the net or make a book of it.

Classic
http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/ALLPOLITICS/05/23/bush.iraq/vert.scrapes.ap.jpg

The other night I saw a flattened racoon and a freshly flattened possum about 30 feet from one another, both a few blocks from my house. Did you run over them? Yes I had to stop to have sex with Mary Stegner.

*NOT!#

And now, a partial list of bands people have said my band sounds like. With the exception of fugazi, I do not understand.

Fugazi
Frodus
Iron Maiden
Thirty Aught Six
Black Sabbath

Yep.

Love,
Wade Boggs

#Farge U!

2004-05-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

This one is for dodecanut lovin' Chris: http://www.boytaur.net

2004-05-24T15:09:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Borstal Boys," The Faces
Song of the day: "Fighting My Way Back," Thin Lizzy
Song of the day: "Waterloo," ABBA

First off, link-o-rama.
-This is probably about how I feel about the upcoming election: http://www.johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway
-http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0504044oprah1.html some of the comments the fcc received about Oprah's "tossed salad" episode, some racist, most just jackassed.

I don't know anyone besides my socially retarded uncle and myself who listens to conservative talk radio but if you do you may have noticed the super-evil slant they've been putting on this "break light bulbs inside anuses" scandal in Iraq: it's no worse than frat initiation and thus, fine. What assholes! I'm not saying that people don't get raped at frats. They do, every day, constantly, for hours and drunkenly. They also make dogs smoke pot and get illegally imported monkey mascots who drink too much and molest the high, passed out dog. That doesn't make it right. What's next, making the Geneva Conventions a political debate? Oh, that's right, they're already doing that... I suppose when you just make up shit and lie to link an invasion to the "War on Terror" you can then ignore international law which is in fact the law of the good ol' USA too. Bunch of fucking assholes...

In cuter news, it's been raining for about a week or two here and the storm drains have filled and made some lake-like puddles. Nothing out of the ordinary except some of the puddles/lakes have ducks just swimming around and chillin'. A couple of days ago I had this conversation with one of the new drivers at Pappa Murphie's. (a little background, this girl strikes me as the type that wears sweaters with kittens when not in uniform and whose favorite movie is "You've Got Mail!" which makes her cry everytime she sees or thinks about it and also probably really gives a shit about kids falling in wells).
Vangelis (me): (relates story about seeing ducks in new Street Pond 3000)
Bizzo whose name I have forgotten: (earnestly) You didn't run them over did you?
Van: (looks at her to determine if she's serious, establishes she is) Uh, yeah, I fucking killed one! I had to pick feathers out of my tire at the stop.
Biz: You're disgusting!

She has not spoken to me since. I can't tell if she thinks I really killed a duck or not. Either way, I'm the king.

Love,
Mate R. Hale

2004-05-21T03:12:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Surfbound," The Nevegans
Song of the Day: "1984," Van Halen

What did we learn today?

-Some dumbass pricks are still doing the "our shtick is that we piss people off with faked music" shite. HeeHeeHeeHee! How many people did we drive away?? HeeHeehEehEe

-Unbelievably, Jamie Inman ate her first Gyro today. Sin of sins!!!

-Some old dudes actually like searing loud foreign rock blasted on their home turf dive bar.

-MiliAmps matter.

Also: On my drive home up Interstate from the rehearsal space, I was forced to detour along Greeley because some jester managed to get his black Blazer COMPLETELY PERPENDICULAR to the street/MAX trax IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MAX TRAX! There were like 8 cop cars trying to figure out what the farge to do. This is on the really steep inclined stretch of interstate with the gravelly median MAX section. In other words, I don't know how the farge he did it, but he was farged.

Love,
Aquatarkus

2004-05-19T15:10:00.000-07:00

Song Of The Day: "SHADOWBOXIN'," THE GZA (LIQUID SWORDS)

Doods....

As some of you know, I've recently relocated to join the ranks of the faggoty fag fag population of the southland. A few months ago, I packed up and shipped out to join the working masses of america.. (actually, i surf the internet, work on spongebob squarepants clips, flick paperclips at my coworkers and gossip about the crazy fucks who downloaded the beheading video off the net). Anyway, I got a full time job at paramount pictures, and if any-a-yall want to come to LA for a vizz during the colder months you are more than welcome. I know a couple local watering holes where you can get cheap griz sized coctails. Getting time off work can be a bitch, but I'm planning a return visit towards late july and maybe july fourth. Later yall, Robins

2004-05-10T01:41:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Hollywood Nights," Bob Seger

Song of the Day: "Fanfare," Soft Machine

I haven't been following the news too closely recently. That is, until I heard about how we now like to force Iraqis to jerk off in each other's mouths. Seriously, how can we never cease to embarrass ourselves with unbelievably immature fratboy horseshit? Oh that's right, what did the biggest fucking morons I knew in high school do after high school? They went into the armed forces, and the marines in particular. Let me just say this: maybe people who have such important duties should think before they act. Christ.

1. Golden Rule,

2. Consistency

2004-05-09T01:51:00.000-07:00

Song of the day, "Trouble," Cat Stevens (Song of the Forever really, I love this shit. The whole Mona Bona Jakon. Even Chris Pickolick scratching the fuck out of it after a unfairly balanced, drunken boxing match three (?) years ago. Oh yeah, what?)

The best jukebox in town belongs to the Silver Dollar bar. Also they have Milwaukees for one (non-silver even) dollar apiece. Kinda jerks around closing, but eh.

No sugar tonight for my coffee, no sugar tonight for my tea...

Wantage USA put out a tour CD for Big Business and I bizurned a copy from Dave. That shit has been rocking my world for about 3 weeks now. It's just Jared on bass and some other, Murder City Devils, dude on drums. The drumming is fairly similar to Karp/Whip/deceased dude but not as slaying. The absence of guitar is not even that noticable considering the bass is fuzzed the fuck out. It kills, really. Fuck.

I super like need to know what is up with Cabin Fest '05 the prequel. Nearly every day my mom is like, "what about Blank, Blankity blank?" Lately I've been telling her, "who knows? My jackass friends give me nothing." So, fuck you, August is out. But July mittel and most of early-mittel Juno ist im (Arsch). Whatever the fuck... the two dudes that actually see this shit gizet back to mich.

Dramarama ding dong,
Elton Von N. Sentucko A'Lambo Q. Verily Fuckyouatronjeffreybridgeswheresthebeef IV

2004-05-06T23:10:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Party With Me Punker," Minutemen
Song of the Day: "Lisa, Listen to Me," Blood, Sweat and Tears

I remember when I moved to Portland, I saw signs saying N Interstate Ave was under construction because they were putting in a leg of MAX, the local light rail commuter train. They said it would be completed Fall 2004. This was fall 2001, so "2004" sounded CAR-AY-ZEE. But now it is 2004, and the Max yellow line was finished early and the first day was Saturday. Stupidass me forgot that rides were free all weekend and of course, every jackass on the other side of Interstate wanted pizza that sunday night. It was like the goddamn Western Montana Fair, all spread out up and down the street. The whole Gresham tourist-lookin fannypack crew was sure in attendance. A funny side note on the same topic: For non Portlanders, The max yellow line slices through North Portland, notoriously made up of black folk, hispanic folk and now young white artists. All of the other legs of the max to through predominantly white, relatively non-poor neighborhoods. Well on almost every block along Interstate Ave, Tri-Met has various hugeass billboards up. All of them feature a youngish minority person, all with meanmug attitude-y face. They read "Wise up. Max weighs 55 tons" or "Respect Max. Big train, little sound." or "Watch the Fuck out, Bitch. Max will kill your prostitute ass!" Not. But you get the idea. I imagine the ad company's mission statement. "Black people have never seen a train before. They won't know WHAT to think. We better educate 'em."

In fantastical news, yesterday was my last at Champs Sports. I now work exclusively at Pizza A Go Go and pick up nights at all of your mothers' houses/workplaces. What a glorious feeling. Bout damn time, though, I've been "moving" over for 5+ monats now.

Coinciding with me quitting the far shittier of my jobs, Book of Maps has some decent momentum, and we are playing a number of shows soon. Tomorrow we will provide entertainment at the May Meeting of the Gay Champions of Eugene, to be held at Grand Champion Louis Mario Gobeo's house. Anonymous internet wierdos and those of you that want to book a band that will impregnate women aurally through hard rock, write bookofmaps@hotmail.com.

You wanted the best and you got it!! The hottest band in the land,
CHRIS'S NOTES!!

-Epic Dorkiness.

-I just had to do it.

-Actually, come to think of it, how about this too?

- I hear that you can buy Miller High life 40s (!) here in portland. Now I just need to find out where. (salivating)

- I saw a video for a rap group called The Federation the other day. It is pretty damn good. They rep the yay area, have E-Figgity on the cut and the song is produced by Rick Rock, Forty-Belafonte's boy. Anybody know anything? I am more than intrigued.

-I work with this guy from jersey who, when he was like 15, was in a hardcore band called Iconoclast. He was friends with Ted Leo, TL's brothers, The Letos and Rye and Merrel and all of the DC fuckers in the start of the nineties. He will be nonchalantly telling a story about how he used to hang with them all the time, and my mind is blown, cause a lot of them were my heroes in high school. Cliche alert: Small world, huh? You are the weakest link, GOODBYE!!

-In other rappy news, Kanye West is freaking everywhere. I must sound like a broken record about this guy, but fack! I hear 6 or 8 of his songs on the radio daily, the Twista song, the new Dilated Peoples song and probably a bunch of shit I cant think of, too. I guess it is good I like KW because if he didn't exist, Lil' Jon would be the most prolific producer this year, and I don't think my stomach can handle one more ulcer produced (HA!) by Lil' Jon(son sucker)

-Who totally BROKE the stop light at 16 and NE Broadway last night? ME, BABY. I was approaching it as it turned from green to yellow, and awestruck by my beacon-like masculinity, the light froze on yellow. I hear they are leaving it like that, as an abstract monument to, uh, my beacon-like masculinity.

Out like a Bout,
Mother Fout

PS. Shit, I just realized that "I hope I don't go back to slingin' yayo/ to get my mayo" is cribbed DIRECTLY from Earth Wind and Fire. I was really hoping that they just came up with that one. Stupid. . Ass. . . Me.

2004-04-25T00:56:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Glad and Sorry," The Faces

Hey, did you hear that that NFL player died in Afghanistan? Well, if you didn't, maybe you will like 5,000 times over in the next week and then see the movie about it next month. Fuck that. I heard that a bunch of random, non-7th-rate-celebrity-having, anonymous people have died in the so-called War on Terror and they don't get shit. If the president visits his funeral I'll fucking vomit. Fuck you CNN. Double fuck you Fox News.

On a lighter note. . . I was watching a program on the (also so-called) War on Drugs (and swearing out loud about the shitheadedness of it) tonight. Anyway, apparently in 1978 the federal government started a pilot medical marijuana program and at it's peak it had about 30 patients. It's obviously ended now (George H.W. Bush killed the funding) but there's still seven people on who will get marijuana, from the government, until they die. One dude lives in D.C. and smokes like 15 joints/day for his potentially fatal bone tumors. The best part is he's a stock broker and likes to take his lunch break and smoke up in front of the Capitol Building or the White House.

And speaking of tastelessness: next Thursday, the Other Side - 2 Live Crew! Bitch, I will be there. This Thursday they had dancer auditions. I'm presuming this is where they get the uggh-o hoes (according to L. Map-of-butt Gobeo) to dance on milk crates. D.K. Almighty!

And now some Ted Williams quotes I read in a review of his biography--
After flubbing a line for an infomercial: "Fucking, cocksucking, syphillitic Jesus!"
After getting a stroke (to Jesus): "You're a blackbearded Jewish son-of-a-bitch and your mother's a whore and I don't believe in either of you."

The worst place to deliver pizza is a pow-wow. I had to deliver to one today and all these Indians were like (in Indian voice), "Hey pizza-man, over here," (he waves me over, I walk over) then, "nah, just kidding..." It happened four times. Also, some of them barely speak English. But they were totally blasting Redbone!

Actually, no they weren't. That would have been cool. What was cool was that I gave them all smallpox.

Jury's still deliberatin',
Matt Haelstrom

2004-04-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Slave," Elton John
Song of the day: "Night on Bald Mountain Suite," Fireballet
Song of the dong: "Zoom Club," Budgie

Kanye West totally broke my heart when I found out he produced "Me Against the Music" by Britney Spears (f/Madonna). That's like the worst song ever. At least the worst pop single in recent memory. Worse than "Survivor" even. I guess a "nigga's" got to make the rent. What with his day job being making a smash hit album and producing tracks for muthtruck'n' alternative, Laurie Anderson-like Jay-Z.

Maybe that Madonna James Bond song was worse. Worst James Bond theme ever. Movie sucked too.

The older Missoula "scenesters" have a real folf/barbecue/hike/move to some shit town like E. Mo. or Clinton or Bonner thing going on. Of course there's generally dirty guys wearing dirty denim jackets. But they're just dirty. I imagine if you were to travel the halls of Hellgate for some reason you would find some (arm-pit-needle-dick)Strokers.

I suppose we should be planning (drumroll) "Greg Novak's Former Girlfriend Who Left Him For A Trucker Memorial (cum-)Drunk Fest, Placid Lake Version, Mark II, v. 4.20." Is Bri-guy coming over here May and/or June? If so, maybe hit it up sometime then. It's being rented for the summer again and it's also being repaired presently because of some wicked water damage (got to like -50 degrees (Kelvin (Crow)), pipes burst, whole 1st floor flooded) but I can work it out. Throw down some plans _________(here). Maybe some Total(ly gay)Fest shit? Third week o' June.

Bag o' Burgers,
Matt Hale-icane

2004-04-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Madman Across the Water," Elton John
Song of the Day: "Standing on the Verge of Getting it On," Funkadelic
Song of the Day: "Destiny," Journey
Song of the Day: "Poker," E.L.O.

Hoo-daw! Dead Brian Schlappy Fest 2000004 Spring Break Leg is in the books. A healthy dose of good times, scat singing, road trips, gay marriages and alcohol abuse always hits the spot. And. AND, BITCH! Third paragraph, NIGGAZZZZZZ! It will be done. Thy mothers will be done, 2. I will figure out a way to post hilarious pictures of DBSF2000000004SBL and when I do, some coral will disintegrate off the coast of Australia.

So, one of the main oft-used arterials in Portland is called McLaughlin Blvd. Being the merry prankster that I am, I have always (humourously) referred to it as John McLaughin Blvd., or Mahavishnu John McLaughlin Blvd, after the mighty Mahavishnu Orchestra guitar destroyer. Well, during the Dead Brian Schlappy Fest PreFest Warmup Fest, I went to the End of the Oregon Trail Interpretive Center. Twas pretty sweet, but I found out that the boulevard is named after a crazy looking old Canadian philanthopist dude named. . . . . . John McLaughlin. Funny part is. 1800s John had wild white hair and a superb white neck beard and looked far, far crazier than 1960s/70s fusion rocker John, who pretty much looks like an accountant or a priest or a male librarian or something.

In other news, rehearsal spaces are for badasses. I love being able to rock after 10. It is a whole 'nother world, I swears to ye.

No shit, I saw a Ice Cream truck with tiny Gold 100-spoke wheels the other day. Yep.

I was taking phone orders for delivery and pickup at my pizza job a few weeks ago at a very busy time, and some faggyt was steaming me like you wouldn't believe. It seems he had called before he was sure of anything, changing his mind, essentially putting me on hold, and talking to his friends. Then at the last minute he changed his order to be a pickup. Splendid, I thought. I will kick this guy in the ballsac when he gets here. But before that, but after he gets here, I will beat him until he is unconcious. I told my coworkers (and they didn't care at all). So then this bitchass comes in and guess what, it's Courteney (I refuse to say that middle Taylor, faggot) Taylor of the Dandy Warhols. He then proceeded to be a bitch in the restruant as well.

Happy Welp Day to Louis "Homosexual Champion" Gobeo and Screw You, Louis Day to Louis "Homosexual Champion" Gobeo for the fackt that this event was not celebrated in Las Vegas, with homely Lady Luck card dealer chicks soaking up our drunken wisdom.

So, somebody help me out. Missoulians, or folks who just moved here. Is there any semblance of a Strokes-type New York rock/punk rootsy faction in Missoula? I have this crackpot theory that there really isn't, at least among the older members of what's left of the music scene. Do y'all think this has something to do with Missoula's mutant obsession with garage rock a few years back? Shit, I sort of lost my train of thought on this. I'll have to get back to you.

Things I Like:

-The Chappele's Show Season 1 DVD. Out of control hilarity. King Cole Records. We sip the finest Dom P cause we're smooth like that. Peace you punk bitches and see you next year and I'll put some egg nog in your face. Pffft!

-Most of Jay-Z's Black Album, the rapping in particular. Kay West's songs? Sheeeet. Gold. And actually Just Blaze does a very good job of not sounding like Just Blaze. This is a good thing, for all of JB's productions sound indentical, if banging. For the other side, see below.

-The Bonneville Dam and Fish Hatchery. Hoo daw, do I love fish. I also like feeding fish and ducks. But my true love is actually 11-foot long sturgeons. Perhaps I will provide pictures of this excursion (and possibly my 20 foot turbine dick) as well. If you're lucky, you will spy me . . . Drying out! stur-geon penises/ and putting them! un-der my tongue!

Things I Do Not Like:

-Stapling some papers together and expecting the normal stapling feeling. Instead, though, the stapler is empty. I hate that feeling. AOOOAuaaoauaoauouauaoa.

-Supposedly, Dr. Dre has scrapped plans of the Chronic 3, AKA the Detox album. It was due later this year, but now he will instead make beats for artists in the Aftermath stable, now including Busta Rhymes, Eve (Get over it Eve, those. . .), along with 50 and M&M. It will be nice to hear so many Dr. Dre beats saturating things (That newest Knocturnal song bangs) but, goddamnit, I want another Dr. Dre. album. I like the way it sounds with him rapping over his beats. What's that you naysay, naysaying bitch? "He doesn't write his own raps"? Guess what? I don't really care. I have respect for the people who write cool raps, but I am far from a rap afficianado, alright? I listen to the production first anyhow, and in the end all I really need is a some beats that will make my friends and me want to get get drunk.

-While I am ranting about rap, consider this. I think a main reason why albums like Chronic 2001, KW's The College Dropout and, oh, I don't know, Method Man y Redman's Blackout sound like ACTUAL ALBUMS is because they feature (at least mostly) one producer/production style throughout. Many rap cds have as many different producers as there are tracks. It's a good thing Jay-Z raps well on DOS Schwarz album, because he is square in my crosshairs here. I mean, come on! It sounds like total shit (or a mixtape, which he is obviously not going for in this case) to have production styles bouncing around between Kay West and Just Blaze, to Timbaland and Neptunes, to (shudder) eminem and (sorry Matte, this one's a stinker. SHUDDER!) Rick Rubin. To me, these styles just clash. Imagine 15 different bands writing 15 totally different songs and having Thom York sing over them all and slapping the name "Radiohead" on the front. Did anyone else think the Black album seems real short, too? For some reason, I can't shake the feeling that the helter-skelter production has something to do with this. That's probably bullshit, though.

-The texture of construction paper. Never have, never will. That shit's like nails on the chalkboard to me.

And there you have it.

Ten One-Hundred-Eleventeen,
Chris "Freedom" K. Rock

2004-04-15T20:55:00.000-07:00

P.S.
"Smoohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....kin' a virgin's pelvic bone/thru a narwhal horn pipe"

2004-04-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "99 Problems," Jay-Z ("Long Red" is not performed by Mountain, snap! I win the dork contest.)
Song of the day: "We Don't Care," Kanye West
Song of the day: "Heart of the City (Ain't No Love)," Jay-Z
Song of the day: "Older Guys," Flying Burrito Brothers

Homo posts same thing twice?

For everyone that isn't C. Montogomery Dick O'Lick: Portland was great. You missed out dipshits. Octopus is a myth though. Some pussy was too scared to even admit so he just got "lost." Fag. I'll probably go again when Lucky Lungfish goes. Three-way gay dance to R. Kelly?

I have an idea for "That 90's Show." Get the grunge guy, the golf fag who's into Hootie and the Blowfish and the republican, hippy, college student. All living in Seattle! The Real World could be involved too.

Brian, I think when you start your job that you are obligated to get new glasses: glasses with tiny, square lense frames (possibly purple lenses). Also, always wear a scarf and start smoking a Sherlock Holmes pipe. I can see it now and hoo boy! - you are a fag.

Things that suck:
1. Losing your w-2
2. Being a dipshit
3. Tearing apart your room to find the w-2 and not.
4. Eminem

Eminem can pretty much ruin anything for me. Like The Blueprint? Awesome album, right? Yes. Until the song "Renegade," produced and featuring Eminem. Firstly, the production totally sucks compare to every other song on the album. (Co)Secantly, he pretty much phones in his rap which is about being such a big fag that everyone hates, blah, blah, blah. Just like every rap by him ever. We get it already: you're a big fag. The same goes for the Obie Trice album but for more songs. His production doesn't really suck comparatively because he produce nearly the whole album. I just don't like his shit about his persecution. Y'owl bitch-ass niggers should stop sucking his dicks like unka tom's and go back to high school daze when we'se punched white bitches in the face.

I'm going to start a website with pictures of the Black Album (Gay-Zee) covered in my cum. It's that good.

Got 99 problems of which your mother's stank snatch is but one,
Master M

2004-04-14T13:35:00.001-07:00

I sure am Gay!!

Maybe I'll post more. I sure won't post the same gay thing twice, though.

Love ya guys (only),
Bri-Bri

2004-04-14T13:35:00.000-07:00

Song of the Gay: "Questions and Answers" Apples in Stereo
Song of the Day: "Cinder and Smoke" Iron and Wine
Song of the Day: "Don't Leave the Light On Baby" Belle and Sebastian
Song of the Day: "Pushing Shit Back Into My Ass" 1.6 Band
Song of the Day: "One False Eye" Three Mile Pilot

BRIAN'S notes coming soon to a theater up yo ass:

-Three weeks of college left forever, then finals and graduation. For the first time in my life, at the end of the summer, I will not go back to school. No more papers, no more books, no more dirty teachers neither. So long, suckers!!! I'm leaving this island in favor of another island. I just leased an apartment with my girlfriend and my folks are coming out for three weeks to live in the place while school ends and throughout commencement. COME TO BROOKLYN AND VISIT!!! ('Specially those of you who've never been to the East Coast, you could drive out in, um, five days I guess? Boverland's 23rd b-day 7/20? Fourth of Jizzle for New York fireworks displizzle?) We have a nice place with a garden and have plenty of space to entertain and plenty of floor space for inflatable beds and the like.

-I really want to revive the 90s. I'm sick of all this 80s revival bullshit that's everywhere. I want the early 90s to be retro. I want to listen to the Pixies and wear plaid and girls can do it too.

-My friend was drunk and naked on the beach during spring break with some naked chick (getTING it ON!!) and was arrested by Mexican police in flagrante delicto. Had to bribe the cops. A little kid stole their clothes and wallets and took video while they were doing it too.

-Emo

-Won $75 in a Greek poetry recitation contest two weeks ago. Yes, such nerdery exists, and yes, I won second place. Shoulda seen the other nerds! This one really fat 50 year old lady in all black reciting Latin poetry like the fate of the world depended on her dramatic interpretation.

-I just secured post-graduation employment for myself. I'm going to be working as an assistant to an art dealer in Soho. Should be pretty sweet. Her gallery has been around for about 20 years and she said she's had "controversial" shows, including one simply titled "Wet." This should be interesting. Won't be starting work until July at the earliest though.

-I want to come to Portland in the next two or three months. If I'm not working until mid-summer I'll have plenty of time on my hands to travel. So I'll keep y'all posted on such a thing.

Love,

Brian

2004-03-25T00:33:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "Muswell Hillbilly," the Kinks

Tonight on "Real Time with Bill Maher," his panel included a former Bush speech writer and Gore Vidal. Gore talked disproportionately little but when he did (too slow because he's like a 100 or something) he just dropped witty, disarmingly mean-spirited insults on the Bush dude. The Busho tried to strike back after a few but, really, how do you compete with a guy that writes a thousand-page book every week?

Gore Vidal is related to Al Gore. No, really.

This whole gay marriage thing has gone on for way too long. Just let them (us) get married. Really, who cares?

Speaking of gay: the Pledge of Alligience. It says "God" in it. Who cares? Stopping being such homos, America.

What I do care about is this UM Athletic Department gayery. "Oh, oops, didn't we mention we're a million dollars in the hole? Yeah, I know we said we'd be square a couple of weeks ago, but we can't add, apparently. By the way, you mind getting your athletic fee doubled?" Fuck Athletics. They get such a disproportionate amount of money anyway. I've got an idea: when you have an away game, don't charter a private plane and don't book everybody in first class and don't take the players out to swanky restaurants. Also don't renovate the Adams Center to the tune of like a billion dollars, actually lose capacity and never be able to pay off the loan you took out to cover it. "Matt, everybody bitches - what's your idea?" Glad you asked. Tear down the Adams center, basketball=McGill Hall or Bonner Park, concerts=not the Adams Center - just like now! Replacing the Adams Center: the Matthew Hall Parking Ziggaraut. Give it 500, 1000 parking spaces. UM would be rolling in the dough if they charged, like $50/semester for a parking pass. Just don't do anything with Monty. Then whom would the whole town blow?

Porn briefly flirted with respectability in the early 70's. Shit like Behind the Green Door, Naked Came the Stranger and, yes, even Deepthroat. I think this how Caligula probably came about. Maybe it ended the movement. That's a but awful movie.

Love,
Deepthroat.

2004-03-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Home Again," Al Green
Song of the Day: "All Falls Down," Kanye West
Song of the Day: "Listen to the Music," Isley Brothers
Song of the Day: "Gone," Miles Davis
Song of the Day: "I Think I'm Dreaming," Madura
Song of the Day: "Lucifer," Jay-Z

Song of the Month: "Step in the Name of Love (Remix)," R. Kelly

I have decided that, due to the intermittance of my posting, I will post identically on both livejournal.com/~steelydang/ and cuntch.blogspot.com If you have a problem with that, take it up with the claims dept.

Its my Blog (Blog!) - my longass Blog! Its my Blog (Blog!) - my longass blog! Its my Blog (BLog!) - my longass blog! You read my blog? Bitch, Read my Blog!!!!

Hoo daw! Shit, has this post been some time brew-in. No sort of order to this random shit. You have been warned.

I have previously ranted about how Jay-Z's singles from the N-word album are w(e)ak. Then I buy the new Kanye West album (see below) and lo, "Never Let Me Down" featuring JZand J. Ivy completely destroys them. Best JayZ since H2the Izzo. NOT coincidentally produced by Kay West. Why, Nigga Man? You'd think ""Jay""Hova"" would know better. Also, it is no coincidence that my favorite song off of the Black Album is "Lucifer," produced by none other than Kan'tye East. If I were a negro, I would loudly proclaim "THAT'S THA CUTT!!" But I'm not. But, um, Lucifer.

SCREW! portland for having throngs of borderline yuppie/hippie dousches that actually care about the Oscars. And watch the Oscars. And have Oscar watching parties. And don't summarily mock everything about the Oscars at their parties. And order ONE MILLION pizzas on oscar night. This must be a uppity portland thing. Rich family'd bithckers.

What's that? You wanted to know what the best porno Ive ever seen is? The Opening of Mitsy Beethoven. I tried to look on the NINterNINet for some info, and I found nothing, other than sites trying to sell it. Anyhoo, it is a cool quirky early 70s movie with a feeling like Harold and Maude or The Graduate. . . except there is constant graphic sex. But it is an old school porno, in other words the sex scenes last 4 minutes, not 45 minutes like the new kind. The best part is the awesome soundtrack/score (score. . . heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh) and editing. The feeling of the movie is very similar to that of movies like The Royal Tennenbaums and the such. Watch this movie, its actually good. Plus, it has apparently been voted the best porno of all time.

Mini Review Time!!

1. The Probot CD is pretty cool. I guess I wasn't sure what to expect, and I don't think I'll buy it, but Dave "Old Grohld" Grohl is pretty much a badass for following up on this one. A little out of my pocket though.

2. Kanye West's album "The College Dropout" kicks rap in its stupid ass. Dude can rap and produce!! Nobody REALLY does this well. Shut up jermaine Dupri, you suck at rapping. Anyway, for me it is always a treat when a hotshit producer makes a solo album cause the production roxx. But I had no idea that Kwest could flow like this too. He skirts partyRap and thinkyRap perfectly for my tastes. A few too many skits, but ehhh.

3. I found this Journey album that I had never seen before, dated 1980 a few weeks ago. It's called Dream, After Dream, and after a little NINternerd research I found that it was only released in Japan up until something like 1990. It was a soundtrack to an (unreleased?) movie. There isn't much singing, but a lot of orchestralish soundscapes, both eerie and lush simultaneously. There are a few rokkin bits now and then, but it sounds nothing like Escape-era Journey. Actually it sounds little like Journey, period, but it rulz.

Work has been super nuts recently, between ring of (bi)sexual sex pizza job, and ring of fraud/theft/people getting their stupid asses canned shoe job. But! my hours are back to sort of normal levels, and I should have some time off to manually pleasure Mary Hall's gayest son during spring break. Speaking of. . .

"I'm going to go to Portland with or without others. But I want it as good as last time. I want Starantula to play a two-hour set at a obviously shady, underground, illegal "bar." I want Bloodhag. I want a (very-)shitty Klingon band. I want to get $50 of records for free. I want Chris Pickolick to play a live Utopia record that expands my horizons. That's right, find another one asshole. I also want Louis Gobeo to be somehow involved. I know that this, however, is a dream."

^^^That may be the most beautiful passage ever seen under the proud watch of Michael J. Farge^^^

A guy I work with was somehow talking to Carlos Santana one time. Santana told him that when he was a dirt poor young boy (around 6-8, I guess) in Mexico, a (relatively) rich american guy would rent li'l Devadip out for weekends at a time for grody sex purposes.

This same-sex marriage shit around these parts is so out of hand. For a while there there was a huge frontpage headline in the Oregonian everyday about some minute development, or the lack of a minute development. It is all so hilarious to me. The lines of bulldykes and guys wearing short shorts at the courthouse and in courtrooms are hilarious. The people protesting with sandwich board signs with bible passages are hilarious. Actually, the best was when I saw a couple of dudes with cardboard signs on the corner of MLK and Weidler (for non-porland fargers, nowhere near the courthouse) holding up protest signs. The one I caught glimpse of read:

1 Man
+1 Woman
=1 Marriage

But really, I wonder how many people offered them change that day. Cause they looked pretty bum-y and they were standing exactly where Ive seen sparechangers a million times before. I guess all factions need their voice heard, eh?

The other day at Champs, a customer asked my manager where he could find NASCAR apparel. Rob then told him that he should try a gas station. The customer got pissed.

Andy "Mad Do(n)g (Swallower)" Fischer passed through my zone a couple of days ago. He and some fellow scumbags were on their way to a 4day bike race/ gay orgy/ mass marriage in Cali. All I have to say is this: for supposedly being such epic partiers, The Honorable Freedom K. Rock, presiding, sure had to drag their bitchasses around by the ballsacks to get them to throw down. Nice folks though.

So, the band was called Treasure State, and everything was dandy. Then come to find out that there is a band in Seattle right now called Treasure State and they too are from Montana. Fack, they're probably aquantances for all the hell I know. This can not stand. Now we known as "Book of Maps."

Saturday was filled with adventure. The house party/house show featuring Bucoda, Dead Man Disco and the debut of Book of Maps was, to my knowledge, a smashing gay success. Big ups to Skyler for not not ruling. To top the night off, a nickname was born. Ryan Brewer is no longer known to us as such. It is fitting that he is now known as "The Truth," or affectionately, "Truth," for he is the source of truthfullness. Preach on, stumbling soothsayer. The nickname came about so effortlessly, admid Truth's screaming at gas station attendants, vandalization, tackling of partiers and devoring of Olde English 800 in moving vehicles.

Playing music to people was exactly what the doctor ordered for me, your narrartor. For whatever reason, in the last few weeks I felt like I was a zombie, or that I was speaking a different language than everyone around me. I would try and interact with my coworkers and people I would see, but to no avail. Good rocking was the recharge I needed. And now, today all I can think about is trading some musical equipment in and trotting out the credit card for a new guitar amplifier. Lucky for my wallet there isn't a 24-hour music store. The fact that stores close in the evening is a built-in purchase-control device for my workin-a-lot ass. *Whew*

I think I've been listening to too much rap music lately. It seems to be retarding me. My St. Patrick's day resolution is to listen to rap only at designated times, and to wash it down with plenty of Prog rock.

That is all for now. I hope to post in more compact doses more regularly.

Stegner?? I just have sex with her!!

Love,
24K Cupp

PS L.P.E.!!!

2004-03-19T19:46:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "My Best Friend's Girl," The Cars
Song of the day: "Nobody's Fault But Mine," Led Zeppelin

Today those jackasses that are Critical Mass took to the streets. I drove by them going the other way so I wasn't put out or anything. Let me tell you, though, they were the saddest, dirtiest, retardest hippies/punks this side of Earth First! They were wearing dust masks and giving the Sid Vicious sneer to all cars. Ho, ho, what rebels! What really gets me is that these folks probably don't care all that much about traffic and cars and alternative transportation. From the looks of it I doubt any could afford cars and if they could they'd give up the bike protests and find some other social outlet, like Widespread Panic concerts. But, as is, they looked like they might bike over to Papa John's after the meeting and muck up the parking lot and eat all the pizza out of the dumpster until the manager shouted at them.

It's official. 3/31-4/4/4: Portland gay-marriage fest. Be there or be not married. Honeymoon with a fantasy octopus that touches you or something.

I delivered a bunch of pizzas to a church on Reserve St. S. whose Marque read, "See The Passion Of Christ (sic)." It was a ~$67 dollar order and I received no tip. I really want to change the sign to "God does not tip pizza man."

I was listening to Rod Stewart today and the thought occured to me that Chris Dick-o-licker and I often like the same artist yet disagree vehemently on the best work. E.g., Judas Priest: he says "Hellbent for Leather" is the best album, while I say it is most certainly not - that "Sin After Sin" is. Also, he thinks that the Faces are better than Rod Stewart, while I think Rod is better than the faces. Obviously, we should get married.

I think we can both agree that Rod Stewart's work from his time in the Jeff Beck Group until the Faces broke up is superlative. That shit makes we want to get drunk when I hear it and, conversely, I want to hear it when I'm drunk. Also, women are sluts.

Arthur Lee,
Love

2004-03-16T22:33:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "This Goes Out," E-40

Wow! I got a livejournal today as well. www.livejournal.com/~steelydang/

Everyone should go to its ass.

I have a huge, huge blog in the works but I have not enough patience to finish it. Beware.

I really wish I would stop sneezing,
Chris

2004-03-16T16:30:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "Big Pimpin'" Jay-z Unplugged
Song of the day: "Sun Goddess," Earth, Wind & Fire

I found my livejournal account today. The last and only entry I done up I did up 8/10/03. I didn't remember how awesome it was. I'm a genius. I may do another entry today.

I recently got my settlement check from that class-action suit against the recording industry. The one about CD's or something. I don't really know the deal, but I do know I signed up online and got $13.86 a year later. Fuck you RIAA - I brought you down.

Chris and I are getting married in Portland.

I read somewhere that hurdygurdys are the new "it" instrument. Apparently Sting played one during the Grammys and now everyone wants to go all Donovan. People are so Goddamned stupid.

2004-03-03T23:20:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "Orson Welles," Volumen
Song of the day: "The Ecstasy of Gold," Ennio Moricione, from TG,TB,TU
Song of the day: "Same to You" Gentle Giant (live)

I just got back from the Volumen/Coachwhips show at the Other Side (a.k.a. the Cowboy Bar). The Volumen, as usual, were awesome. Every time those guys come up with a new batch of songs they blow my mind. The Coachwhips were awful. Shitty garage music. The guitarist is also the guitarist for Pink and Brown, if that gives you a hint. Totally "style over substance," as they say. Even John Fleming, a lover of seemingly everything (an aside: JF's description of the Backside Ramblerz - "The Champs meet Kiss") said they were "astrocious." I hate to say it, because "garage" music rocked my world for like two years starting in sophmore year at Hellgate, but this shit is done. Played out. Stop it please. Make some real music involving you knowing how to play an instrument. Those original garage bands from the 60's all had one amamazing song each. (While Frank Zappa was Mr. Crazy-ass-Musician-can-compose-classical-music he also recognized that these bands achieved "dumb genius" for a song). Try to at least do that.

John Fleming described the Hills Brothers as "Hasil Adkins meets Kris Kristopherson." What?

I'm going to go to Portland with or without others. But I want it as good as last time. I want Starantula to play a two-hour set at a obviously shady, underground, illegal "bar." I want Bloodhag. I want a (very-)shitty Klingon band. I want to get $50 of records for free. I want Chris Pickolick to play a live Utopia record that expands my horizons. That's right, find another one asshole. I also want Louis Gobeo to be somehow involved. I know that this, however, is a dream.

Love,
Rough Dwarf

2004-03-01T18:11:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Ain't No Telling," Jimi Hendrix
Song of the Day: "Back to the Future," Joggers
Song of the Day: "Clowne Towne," Xiu Xiu
Song of the Day: "American Kids with Real American Ids," FedX (n.b. correct Latin plural of "id" is "ea")
Worst pun of the year/last four years of my life: "CU on the ramps!" university slogan referring to the postmodern architectural ramp system in the four-year-old student center on campus.

Back in the house. I tried to post recently and couldn't get it to work because my computer has the Asian Bird Flu. And Ebola. And just took a swim in the shit-filled Ganges.

I saw Little Feat back in middle school at the University Theater. I was taking drum lessons with Checkers at the time and he recommended that I go so I did (because of the ToP horns). It was alright. I bought the t-shirt because it looked really cool. I wonder if I still have it, some wear. Snap!

No West Coast sojourn for me this March unfortunately. Staying around NYC/Vermont for spring break this year to work on finding a job/convincing my girlfriend's dad that the two of us should live together (my girlfriend and I, not him and I). Current plan is to move to Brooklyn where we can afford a big sweet apartment with a garden or deck for summer partying. The concurrent plan is to get a job in the art market, and it's slowly working. Making applications, getting some introductions made, trying to find a salary I can survive on where I can also meet a bunch of art types. Apparently the art world in New York is also a huge drinking club as well. We shall see.

With finding an apartment and (hopefully) starting a job I have no idea when I'm going to be out West again. I really want to spend a month between mid-May and mid-June (postgraduation and hopefully prework) traveling and a Missoula/Portland/San Francisco trek would be a main feature. Though I don't know. As of now I have to solid plans whatsoever for post-May 19 existence when I have to move out of my dorm.

Yeah, I heard about Brian Wilson performing Smile with the London Philharmonic or some shit. What a weirdo.

We have an SR-71 here in NYC at the Intrepid Air and Naval Museum (U.S.S. Intrepid is an aircraft carrier permanently moored in the Chelsea Piers). Every year after finals in the spring Columbia rents out the whole museum (ship) to throw a massive school-wide party. Last year they stopped this 20-year tradition because people were getting to o drunk/crazy/drugged out at the party and they wanted to avoid an incident where a bunch of drunk assholes stumble off the edge of the ship into the Hudson. One year my friend got three bj's from three different girls throughout the course of the party. No joke. Best part about it: one of the three was in a hellicopter on the flight deck. Best bj ever I'm sure.

Love,

Jimi Chendrix

2004-02-26T19:47:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Spaceship," Kayne West
Song of the Day: "Ramble Tamble," Creedence Clearwater Revival
Song of the Day: "Handcuffs," Parliament

You may think that Little Feat is cool because I believe some of the members used to play with Frank Zappa and/or the Mothers. I have a few albums, nothing all that notable. Waiting for Columbus is pretty cool. Live, but recorded super well, and you can't go wrong with the Tower of Power horn sextion.

One time I was at a party in Missoula and I accidentally walked in on Josh Vanek and Monty Turner having sex.

I am sick of hearing about:

1. Gay Marriage Bullshit. Who the hell cares. Can we please just ingnore this meaningless shit. So some gay dudes are married. So some mannish ladies are married. I care more about the NHRA. Fack. The Constitution? What a phenomonial waste.

2. Agreed, Dad. This freaking Passion of Christ movie. Again, I don't care. I care so little that I. . . cannot. . . finish. . . . . .. . . . . . sen. . . . t e n c e.

A joke:
Q: What is the worst part about eating a vegetable?
A: Having to put the diaper back on when you're done.

I went to the Oregon coast at 4 in the morning last night and it was pretty awesome. On the way, I looked into the Evergreen Aviation Museum (Spruce Goose Home) at the newest addition, an SR(muhfukkn)71 Blackbird. Whoever the hell comes to portland for spring break, we HAVE to go so I can mount its beautiful frame (and get arrested).

Screw Lil' Jon,
Boxo-san

2004-02-26T11:49:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "You Still Believe in Me," Beach Boys
Song of the day: "Johnny Carson," Beach Boys

I was talking to Josh "Widespread" Vanek the other day about WantageFest and its future and he related to me a story. Last year he went on the Monty Turner show (Montana Today?) to promote Wantagestock and between commercials Monty was telling dirty jokes and at one point said, "Are you sure I don't know you? You look so familar . . . have we had sex?"

There's been a lot of hype and kvetching about the possibility of Smile being released lately. Brian Wilson has apparently been performing the entire album in concert recently where previously he refused to perform any of it. Now, obviously I've never heard it and I haven't even heard any of the bootlegs you see floating around but the prospect of a 18-minute long, super produced version of "Heroes and Villains" gives me a boner. He throws that on and I'm onboard.

Spring Break. I still haven't contacted anyone besides my son about this. It used to be other people used this here thing. I guess it did get a little hetero for them. But, then again, my son is gay. Note: Christopher Matthew Pickolick is my son.

Oh yeah, Little Feat is playing here in April. I'm thinking of going but have 0 Little Feat albums. Somehow I got the idea they rule. What's up?

Love,
Arthur Lee

2004-02-24T00:56:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "The Analog Kid," Rush
Song of the day: "I'm Going Back There Someday," Gonzo

The other day I delivered a bunch of pizzas to about 12 Japanese people all gathered in a little student housing structure. I had enough pizzas that I had to have a special box to carry them and when I walked in, I am not shitting you, one of them said, "aww, boxo-san" and they all cracked up. Not only that but because no one spoke English past "sank you," I got a $30 tip because I was unable to convince them they overpaid.

In other news: I am so sick of this Mel Gibson Jesus movie already. Sure, I'd like to see it but I am going to lay down the law right now. Jesus was a fag and everyone who likes/"believes in" him is gay. Final word.

Fuck, I had like one hundred things to say but I forgot them all.

Love,
Mr. Janna Gobeo

2004-02-22T02:08:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Walk On By," Burt Bacharach

There are currently about 20 (no shit) cop cars flooding my street as we type (hee hee) with a couple of K9 units and shit. They wouldn't tell me much, but somebody apparently ran from them. (and must be doing a pretty good job hiding) Ahhh yes. Almost like the old BeechHouse days.

On a related note, possible album titles for Chan Halen, the fictional Chinese Van Halen Cover Band I just made up:

1. OICU8AK92
2. II (children max)
3. 5,150,000,000

Ahem.

Spring break. I believe my parentals will be visiting the Rose Shitty, but I am always up for partying with dandy homosexual road warriors. That means you, Matt/Brian/Andy/Becky/etc. Also, there was at one point whisperings of a Louis Gobeo twenty-SECOND birthday Las Vegas blowout around the one year anniversary.

Love,
Chris

2004-02-18T03:06:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Boy Named Sue," Johnny Cash
Song of the Day: "Fight For Your Life," Judas Priest

Hey all. Just now finally recovering from my fantastical birthday bender. Extreme drunkenness all around. Party. Food. FoF. No sleep. Well some sleep. Not enough though.

Here are some things that suck and light the fire in the belly:

-Hotmail

-Computers

-Japanimation

-Disney. As if there needed to be another way for them to suck

******************

Here are some things that do not suck but rule, or in the case of the second entry, suck and rule.

-My Authentic (not retro, nyjuhr!) early 1980s Chicago White Sox jersey, from the early 1980s.

-Rob Halford

-A belated birthday present for me, anyone?

-I was riding my bike to work a few days ago and a crazy crackhead was JOGGING along side my bike trying to get me to buy one of his bootleg/stolen watches.

-This joke, told to me by one Louise Mary Gobeo.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and KMart have in common?
A: They both have kid's clothes half off!

-Dave Grohl. I got the Tenacious D(VD) for my birthday. I think his Nirvana drumming is just dandy, but seriously, did homeboy practice solid straight through 93-99?

Ten One Hundred,
Chrissy Hynde
Honeydrippers
R. Kelly
Indigo Girls
Sleater-Kinney

2004-02-15T20:57:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "Every Little Bit," Yes
Song of the day: "La Do Da," Journey

Not the song of the day: "Changes," Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne. What horseshit! Just kill the entire family already.

Big, Belated Shout-out to my love child, C. Montgomery Pickolick. Happy birthday dude. Welcome to the club, the deuce-deuce, the twin twins, the double double, etc. It's a wild ride. Enjoy it.

My-eyez spring break is 3/27-4/4. Are there any plans? Tahoe? Jersey Shore? Ouxaca? TJ? I'm always both up and down for hitting Portland.

I hear it from the grapevine (the California Raisins told me) that the Family Guy is coming back. Boom to that. Not Boom to the Simpsons becoming a movie. That show is dead to me. Go back in time five seasons and cancel.

Fuck,
Chuck

2004-02-09T01:39:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Viva Las Vegas," Elvis Presley
Song of the Day: "Song of Sirius," Steve Hackett

(Fake) Lyric of the Day: "Then I saw her face/just like me, a rhesus," The Monkees

Well, I'm retarded. Somehow I imagined that Thin Lizzy could be cool in 2004. Stupid!! It's really a shame when a band is fantastic and underrated and sort of visionary in the 70s, they actually sort of keep it together from 77-80, turn totally gay buttrock in the 80s and never shake it off. Seeing the show was like seeing Poison or something. The frickin' "Portland, I can't hear you!! Are you ready to Fuckin' partyy!!!!!!"s and the facial expressions AND THE PINCH HARMONICS! I mean, this is thin lizzy. The band that sounds like THE 70S! Oh what a fool I felt like. The good part: The few songs (like "Bad Reputation" (whoooo whoooo was it hot)) they played that rocked hard rocked hard like Slayer rocks hard. The drummer was fantastic, albeit old and ugly. They said he has played with page and plant. Also, please: can we finally do away with encores? At least at small venues? At least multiple encores. It is really, really dumb.

A Joke I made up:

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite Pink Floyd member?
A: Kid, BareIt!

I haven't heard the whole album, but I would like to jump to an early "Bullshit" conclusion on Jay-Z's Black Album. For these reasons. "Change Clothes"? Please. Memo to Earth: Get off the neptunes dick and get onto MC Willee Mayeez'z Dollarsign Dick. I mean, change clothes? What horrible beat selection from the usually picky JayZ. And this second single with the brushing dirt off your shoulder or whatever the hell it is? Is it 1999? Am I listening to some No Limit shit? Unacceptable. I guess I should actually buy the album, huh? Well fortunately the rapping seems adequete.

On the "Born to Add" tip: I was always pretty damn down with "Me Want to Munch You Munch You Munch You" but "Hey Food" (while brilliant in concept) really needs to retain the melody of Hey Jude to slay.

It seems funny that everyone in portland is familiar with Yes, but only "Heart of the Sunrise." It might as well be a rule. Its a great song, but you just know some knob will always drag it out at a party. I guess it's the Buffalo '66 connection? Up yours hipsters, I learned from "Roundabout" and "I've Seen All Good People," from KZOQ, bitch.

Sighted, in the back window of a car, in the style of "Montana State University," or "Starfleet Academy" or whatever:
Neil Young University

Snake,
Ekans

2004-02-08T01:33:00.000-08:00

Apparently accidently hitting "CTRL" or maybe "/" is enough to erase the entire fucking post. Be careful with this gay-ass shit technology. P.S. I wish mills were the peak of industrialization.

Song of the day: "Born to Add," Bruce Stringbean and the S-Street Band
Song of the day: "Letter B," The Sesame Street Beetles
Song of the day:"Can You Picture That?" Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

I just acquired "Born To Add" by Sesame Street and the Muppet Movie Soundtrack. Needless to say, the Muppet Movie Soundtrack is awesome. The movie and the songs are all modern classics. Rainbow Connection, anyone? If you don't like the soundtrack then you also don't like the Star Wars score. That makes you a communist. The Born To Add LP is not as classic but it still kicks ass. The songs may not actually be the same, but it's amazing how they keep the spirit of the lyrics, e.g., people trying to stop kids being born to add.

I just got back from seeing the Numbers at the Ritz. I'm so tired of gay-ass, non-music gaywads coming to town. It was a drummer, a guitarist and a keyboardist. The drummer was a woman (warning! warning!) and also the singer (warning! warning!). All the songs were the same 3-note riff bullshit with the drumbeat following the guitar.

Also if you say a song is a Neil Young cover, it better be true or I will blog it! Watch out!

2004-02-06T02:36:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Man of Honour," Flash
Song of the Day: "Look What the Wind Blew In," Thin Lizzy
Song of the Day: "Caves of Altamira," Steely Dan

Things I have seen:

-An old yellowish-brown VW beetle with a squiggly dark line around the bottom (Charlie Brown's shirt-style) with the Oregon license plate "AAUGH" Retarded, no? "Oh, brother!" hahahahahhahahahahaha Some older, 250lb version of Rick Nielson-lookin' dude was driving, dancing and singing at the top of his lungs.

-A Cat with 30 toes. He was owned by a crazy catlady I delivered a pizza to. This is the kind of catlady that reads to the cat and figures out the cats astrology and shit, I could just tell. They were distributed 8-8-7-7.

-Some freaky, gross shit. (Be sure to scroll down to picture #2)

Things I have heard/heard about:

-Apparently, the guitarist from Hella has a new Nintendo band in which he plays drums. They are called The Advantage and are supposed to be pretty awesome. People in this town are so obsessed with hella. Sometimes I think Id know the same day if the drummer bought a new kick pedal or learned to suck his own dick or something. But anyway, the advantage plays really complicated parts with 2 super clean guitars. I guess somebody with better internet can find the shit. It just seems funny to me that with a search of the NINternet, you can find scores of bands playing NINtendo songs. I guess it was inevitable. PBB 4evs, though.

-A girl I work with saw a penis laying near the sidewalk not far from my Pizza job.

-A joke: Q: What did the police officer say when he pulled over Thick Nielson driving the Charlie Brown Bug?
A: Whaaa whaaa whawhaaa whaaahwahhahahwaaaahwaaa

Things I have done:

-Won $20 on my own Super Bowl pool. Bam! Suckers.

-Purchased a ticked for the Thin Lizzy show tomorrow night. I am really hyped about this. The show is at Berbati's Pan, which is a pretty small venue, but they have great sound and have big time acts come through. I hear its the drummer and one of the guitarists from the most famous, mid/late 70s lineup. Too damn bad I couldn't see them with Deep Purple on monday in Seattle. Anyhoo, look forward to me typing nonsensical drunken typos this time tomorrow night, boyeeee.

-Asked a drunken customer to leave my resturant because he became very agitated when I would not accept his coupon for a Free Chalupa.

-Attended a Liquor Server education class necessary to serve alcohol in Oregone. The class was held in a back meeting room at a pizza resturant. Its in these situations that one can observe a pure cross section of one's community. In my case (and probably everyone else's) my community is all retarded. I know anyone who reads these words would feel the same way in my shoes. Hmmm, how can I express this without sounding like the most conceited bastard ever? Shit, damn the torpedoes: I felt like I was a different species from everyone at this class. Actually scratch that for something a little less insulting. It felt like 6th grade. People were so proud of their dumbass service industry jobs. They would do that smug nodding thing while saying "uh-huh. . . . Yep. . . .Yep." whenever the teacher (whom I felt insanely sorry for) would go over a point that happened to relate to their job. Remember that from 6th grade. The best part was, at least half of the time these breeders would interrupt the teacher and blurt out something they thought he was about to say, they were wrong. Then they would proceed to argue and get 100% denied. God, how I hate know-it-alls. What else, what else? Oh, everyone insisted on trying to ask questions to try to find loopholes or beat the system. 6th grade. These 2 fatass russian bitches were bragging about how their cousin has gotten over 20 DUIs. Some old wench who appeared to be an Ex-Motley Crue-Groupie Reject fucking pushed by people to get to the counter first so she could bitch until the counter person sold her an ENTIRE POT of coffee. Then she complained about how it sucked. Needless to say, I didn't say peep during the STATE MANDATED 5+ HOUR LONG CLASS!
I was telling Baumann, I remember being in school and teachers always complimented me and my friends for being smart or witty or involved in music or the newspaper or art in general. Only now I am I realizing that the people and activities I(we) surround ourselves with are not typical in the least. 98% of people out there are just going through the mating cycle.

Lonesome Gambler,
Snake

2004-02-05T20:06:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "One More Red Nightmare," King Crimson
Song of the day: "Another Show," Gentle Giant
Song of the day: "Wells Fargo," Babe Ruth
Album of the week: "First Base," Babe Ruth (also Roger Dean cover of the week)

Joke of the day:
Pizza Delivery Driver #1 - "Do you know where Monticello is, off North Reserve?
Pizza Delivery Driver #2 - "No, it's in Virginia."

I have a confession to make. That joke came not from my imagination but reality. I was that second delivery driver.

Not too much going on over here. School's started. It's still easy. That is, because it's early in the semester. Wish I had more to say but I don't, so I'll just end by spelling Louis' name with bands.

Focus
Asia
Gentle Giant
Gluecifer
Osibisa
T-Bone Burnett

2004-01-27T22:51:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "Giant," Gentle Giant
Song of the day: "Red," King Crimson
Song of the day: "Find the Cost of Freedom/Ohio," CSNY (from Journey through the Past)

Matt News:
Got back from a California/Family Dos visit like a week ago.

I saw Cirque du Sole for the first time. They do some crazy, seemingly impossible shit like one guy laying on his back and kicking another guy into flipping over and over 20 times. They had a juggler juggle 8 cowboy hats by throwing them forward and running in a circle.

Saw a Mighty Ducks game too. Those poor fags - named after a Disney movie. Disney should not be allowed to do anything. Barring that, at least they shouldn't be able to own a sports team just so they can promote a shitty movie franchise or make a movie based on the team, e.g., Angels in the Outfield.

The highlight (of the trip) was seeing James Brown. His band was a shit hot, crack squad. Two drummers is so cool. He played a ten minute version of "The Big Payback."

Environmental News:

I saw a segment on PBS about Uganda's Chimpanzee problems. Apparently the chimps live in only one forest in the whole country and the forest is shrinking due to expanding farms. Perhaps in response there was one chimp that would occasionally kidnap young kids, take them into the woods and kill them. They killed that chimp but another took his place and is killing babies. When all those nuts talk about race wars, they mean ape wars. (Insert joke about black people=chimps).

Because of this Mad Cow Disease scare the FDA has imposed new regulations on cattle feed. Get this: cow blood and chicken shit are no longer allowed in the feed. What a crazy fucking idea! Don't shovel up chicken waste and feed it to cows? That's insane! Fuck, we all deserve to die and cows should rule the world.

Political News:

Iowa! New Hampshire! That's right, Democratic Primary fever has struck. And it's contagious! I've never actually voted in a primary because Montana's takes place after the general election and constitutes -3% of the total vote but I'm still super psyched. Seriously though, can't we just count everyone's money already and the one with the most gets to stick a dildo in America's ass.

Making Sense of Your World For You Since 1981,
M. L. R. R. Hall

2004-01-17T18:08:00.000-08:00

*Hi, asshats.

Heart
Becky
xx

Song of the Day: Timorous Me - Ted Leo

2004-01-15T19:21:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Bad Sneakers," Steely Dan
Song of the Day: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," Queen
Song of the Day: "Kid Charlemagne," Steely Dan
Song of the Day: "Wovoka," Redbone
Song of the Day: "Glad and Sorry," Faces

Well, life is just finally getting back to normal here in Portland. Last week the entire town shut down due to 72 hours of straight freezing rain, pretty crazy shit. And as we have discussed everyone here is a pussy, so things were ultrafarged. No driving, almost no stores open, impossible to even walk. It is actually a great thing that I came back to Oregon when I did because all of the highways were completely closed only a few days later. I am so routine-based, it is already hard enough to get back into the swing of things.

Meanwhile, at my pizza job, some nadder had the gall to prank deliver me the other day. I got a delivery for an address that I had no need to check the map for, on a numbered street. I knew exactly where it should be. Well, work was stressful that day. And it turns out that the street does not go through at that point. After 10 minutes of sliding around in the ice making sure I wasn't just being a moron, I stopped at a stereotypically foreign owned "convienence store." (This all happened smack dab in the middle of the ghett-oh) I asked for change to use the payphone so I could call the customer's number to see if the address was a misprint or typo. Of course, this bizzo makes me buy some candy I don't want just to get some quarters. Once outside, the phone ate my money and refused to dial. I was so damn steamed at this point I charged the counter and said: "So you know the phone is broken but you still let me go waste my money? I'm supposed to be delivering pizzas. Are you going to let me use your fucking phone or do I have to buy more fucking Airheads to get quarters for the phone down the street?" Then she promptly let me use the phone. It was some retarded answering machine, so I left a message and continued with my deliveries. They never called and I ate their pizza. Ha.

By the way, we should really try to post more. I personally enjoy reading this.

Pout,
Alan Greenskin

2003-12-11T03:00:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Stunt 101," G Unit

Sample Lyric of the Day:
"First there was two sets of footprints in the sand/
Then there was one set of footprints in the sand/
When the going gets tough and the shit hits the fan/
God ain't walkin' with me he's carryin' me man."

Paraphrase from "Footprints," G Unit

It's official, N-Words. 23rd to the 4 dot, bitch. M-La be warned. Same Grow, Beast Late! Fargen Fockin, Rocken Blockin'.

Love,
Devadip

2003-12-04T02:52:00.000-08:00

RIP satya's grandmamma

2003-12-04T02:51:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "34 vby sweventyk foot sportcourt nigggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggaah," Emmmm She ahall cockestrahhhh

Fargin,
spittin s1uitchin four lanes jaguar mao-in money aint a thingm nigga

2 TWO mailboxxes up in the piece

got a hun- mill on agoddamnmmnmm JUDDS questions----- Vallejo nigga!!!

And igot no s hit to talk about cause Im drunk typin-- blood type??" Drunk. . . . . BEEEEETTTAXH

Christmastime be poppin with da bad snake rida upi in the 'ZOO bitch. Be pooopin' from da 2-4 to day 2K4 wit fo' lil' neeah peennnydollarsignz (give(it to mary hall)or (mary hall)take(s it on the chin, (Valle(Karken O'lind be a (spanish tongue(kiss from all feamale members of BPO's tree)jo)niggah!!!), beeyutch!)

Out like a fukcking Juke BOxx hero,
Snakescrit Stonesnow

2003-11-28T01:31:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Screaming for Vengeance," Judas Priest
Song of the Day: "Krushpop," MC Willie Mayeez
Song of the Day: "Another Star," Stevie Wonder
Song of the Day: "F.A.R.Tay (Welcome to the partay) '97 (Live)," Louis Gobeo (featuring John Popper of Blues Traveler)

I will agree with the demoting of (Rod) FArgent Pepper's LHCMF'nB and Astral Weeks. Bah. There are so many albums out there that make those 2 sound stupid. Fak, I shouldn't even break my vow of not talking about the stupid Top 500 list. 500 is just too much to swallow. Come to think of it, 100 is really too much. I stopped reading when I saw that #1 wasn't Physical Graffiti anyhow.

Yeah, I think we should just skip going to the cabin this Winter. NOT! I look forward to bingedrinking in the sun/snow whenever I'm not at the cabin. MLKall, we will do it even if it's just us 2, dammit. Us 2 and a fuckin' stuffed Canada Goose. Do you have scheduling conflicts, Brizzo? Do you have homosexuality conflicts, Brizzo?

I should be able to return to Missoula as per usual, roughly Dec 23-Jan 5, depending on developing me-hating-my-job situations.

Chris's Notes, Dammit:

-Before, I couldn't recall what band the FoF headlined above(!) in Spain besides the Stooges. I remembered. It was Mike Watt.

-So apparently Larry Flynt has naked pictures of that chick Jessica Lynch but now he won't release them to respect her and the other soldiers. What the Farge? Is this a very un-Flynt-like move, or is he getting soft all of a sudden, or what the hell?

-The president of the Portland branch of the NAACP owns the liquor store across MLK(all) from my old house. No joke needed.

-I heard an interview on the radio recently with the Egyptian historical curator in charge of re-acquiring all of the ancient Egyptian relics plundered over time. He was relating attending a Grateful Dead concert at the Great Pyramid in Piza, and how it was so loud, all this shit got damaged and these ancient structures were nearly falling apart. Also, he was offended that everyone was drinkin' beer and partying on a burial site. He said it was the worst day of his life.

-Orrin Hatch and some other elderly legislative dickheads are trying to change things so to be president, you don't have to have been born in the USA.

-Satyricon update: This is not breaking news, but I thought I'd share anyway. What used to be the dirtyass rock club Satyricon is now ICON, a crappy bar with crappy college/frat/rave music and (I assume) expensive drinks. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Also, I heard a rumor that Old Town, the region in which ICON resides is the single square mile in the US where the most drugs are sold. Take it for what it's worth, I can't really tell whether or not to believe my source, but I personally wouldn't be surprised. Going to Satyricon shows, I was offered every single kind of drugs, usually 3-4 times over 2 or so blocks.

-Will and Grace sucks. So much. I wandered in on an episode the other day, and it was like a stupid punch, right in my dick. No, wait. My dickhole.

-For some reason, the whole idea of these futures is hilarious to me.

-So I don't know if anyone out there listens to NPR, but there is this interview show on daily called "Fresh Air," and it is amazingly ungay. Don't get me wrong, I really like NPR, but a lot of it IS really gay. Well, for those of you who've never heard Fresh Air, the interviewer asks really good questions and makes even people I think I won't like seem really interesting, I guess like a good interviewer should. A week or two ago, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (and his creator, huh huh) were on AND I MISSED IT. Of course, getting transcripts, tapes or anything from NPR costs like 10X what it normally would, so screw that. My loss.

-My old neighbor and current Down Bro Adam Clark "ACORN" CORNelius has been even more full of KERNELS of hilarity than usual. Get it? Kernels?? Hah! So, without further ado:

Adam's Notes!!

-Does anybody remember a few (5, maybe) years ago when some crazyass got a perfect score in Pacman? Perfect meaning, every dot, every pill with every ghost per pill, and every fruit, for what, 64 levels? I guess now all kinds of people do it, and now the thing is how fast you can get a perfect score. But not to be out done, thee original perfector, I'll call him "Pac Man" plans to get two perfect scores on two machines simultaneously, on in the right hand, one in the left.

-Recently in a attempted murder trial in which the accused chose to defend himself (which is often times a recipe for good times), the dude asked the guy who got shot, "Can you please point to the person who shot you?" The man pointed at the Defendant, but the Defendant ducked and jumped out of the way of the point. Then he said something along the lines of, "Let the record show that he pointed at the back of the courtroom." Man, there really should be a DVD of courtroom bloopers. Wouldn't that rule?

-I don't know how long ago this happened, but in the mayor's office of whatever small suburb town in which MJJ's Neverland ranch technically resides, some guy dressed as Spiderman demanded to see the mayor. He refused to take off the suit and he refused to leave. Eventually, they realized that the only way to rid themselves of this nuisance was to let him see the mayor. Once inside, Spiderman took of the mask, to reveal it was Michael Jackson. Why did he want to see the mayor? The small town had no Taco Bell, and MJ really likes fast food and wanted to get the mayor to "get" a Taco Bell. Then apparently MJ was sighted later at the nearest TB, however far away that was. Awesome. Coolest celebrity ever.

Ten One Hundred,
Devadip Carlis Santanolick

2003-11-21T00:23:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "Roisin Dubh (Black Rose) - A Rock Legend," Thin Lizzy
Song of the day: "Don't Believe A Word," Thin Lizzy

Alright, Let's Go!

I did shit for halloween. I always have grand plans to dress up like Santa Claus or Popeye or some shit, but I ended up just wearing a gay ghost hat and drinking.

Rolling Stone just did the 500 Greatest Albums. 500! I haven't looked over all of them, but I want to say get over Sgt. Pepper's! No. 1? Fuck that shit. It's mostly a bunch of gay waltz and polka music. I like about five Beatles albums more. RS also repeated their practice of putting greatest hits (Greatasstits by the Nobodies) albums on the list. That is totally cheating. Chuck Berry never had a really good album proper. Tough luck (Chuck). And putting "Innervisions" above all the other Stevie Wonder albums? Nigga, wha?

Also, get over Astral Weeks. It ain't that good. It's great to listen to while drinking tea and reading on a cold autumn day in Belfast, I guess. If you want real music listen to his next 7 or whatever masterpieces.

I can not get enough of this Michael Jackson shit. I hoping for public execution. Kill that bat-shit-insane, Diana-Ross-skeleton motherfucker. Put up a statue in Indiana for all the fat black women that still love him. End of story. Kill the parents of the molested too. You should know better than let your kid hang out with The King of (gay cherry-)Pop (Yesss!!).

People at ol' Papa John's have been getting way too into "Behind Blue Eyes" by Limp Bizkit. They were all talking about it and how great it is and I think it's a cover but I don't know who does it, can you burn me copy of it so I can listen to it on my walkman while jerking off to anime? That's barely a stretch. One day I brought in Who's Next at the request of one of these gonads and almost everybody was like, "I like the Bizkit version better." Assholes.

Dave was telling me that one time Millie took her bass in to be repaired and the problem was rotting meat stuck in the back. Apparently Richie Rowe stuck it in there once when she left it at Jay's. Classic.

Brian Overland floated the idea of not attending the cabin this winter. Sic 'im Chris! Also someone should contact Louis about this shit so he can talk about it for a month and then flake.

Kaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhnnnnn!

2003-11-07T04:04:00.000-08:00

PUBLISH, GODDAMMMMMIT!

2003-11-03T22:48:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day: "Gasoline," E-40
Song of the Day: "Silicone Grown," Faces

Well, it looks like my posting has become a near monthly affair. I have nothing but bullshit, ever, to report, so it makes it seem less bullshitty to lump it into one huge post. Behold!

First off, ODB + DEP sounds bombastic. Let me guess, more white kids than black dudes in attendance.

How was everyone's halloween. As I am a Halloween scrooge for the most part, I didn't dress up, but rather played my first soccer game of the season. BISCUITS!

Trailblazer Derek Anderson signed autographs in Champs a few weeks ago and I have a hilarious picture that I must share with you. I will upload it soon. It was a "life event"

Lets do this! CHRIS'S NOTES!!

- I assume it is roughly the same everywhere else, but the bowling here is $20/hr per lane. That just seems like friggin fleecin' to me. I guess it's been that long since Ive been.

- The new E-40 CD is exemplary (bandwagon jamaican sounding dudes featured on a few songs notwithstanding) and it seems Mr. 40 doesn't refer to himself as Forty Fonzarelli anymore. Now? Forty Belafonte.

- I don't know if I mentioned this before, but the Fireballs of Freedom's recently toured Western Europe. At most of the shows they played they headlined. One of the bands playing BEFORE them was the reunited Stooges (!!) and another huge band that I can't think of at the moment. Lunacy!

- A recent episode of CSI: Miami featured a case about Furries. This must have upset hardcore furries everywhere. Also I must note that on the show, the furries were both men and women. Bull-g-d-shit. Gross men only. Gross, men named Matt Hall, only. L, not R, pervo.

- The new Ludacris video for "Stand Up" is a must watch. Syncronized wheelchair dancing, even!

- I really tire of these movie website rumors that we all hear, but here is the newest one: Terminator (hey is there a porno called 'Sperminator Goo: PudgyMen who'reGay' yet, cause if there isn't there should be!) 4 is planned, but Arnold will not participate. He did have a recomendation for a replacement, though. The Rock. I quit.

- This is sweet. http://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/22/technology/22SUPE.html?ex=1068177600&en=02118d70b2d920dd&ei=5004&partner=UNTD

- Does anybody know when Triumph TICD's CD comes out? Did anybody see his Conan performance? Awesome rapping. Puppet dogs, live dogs, live black dudes b(l)acking him up, a puppet dog with hilarious arms DJing.

- The Faces rule!

- Bausnake and I watched the new Megaremaster of Scarface and there is this hilarious extra feature about rappers' obsession with the movie. I recommend everyone to see it. Rappers=retarded

- Around here at least, this years SUPER GAY halloween costume was to dress up as that schmuck that tried to grab the foul ball at the cubs game and fucked them up. I saw dozens of douches, if not hundreds as this butthole.

- At the Nike campus in Beaverton there were these giant posters of different types of peoples rooms hanging up at the massive campus library. One of them was my room, and they aren't hanging up anymore, so now I possess two 9'x4' posters of my room, almost lifesize. No Point to this story, it's just that they are crizazy.

- Portland is the gayest gay about snow. They have these insane graphics whenever there is one snowflake sighted. Everybody freaks out, there are huge pileups and roads are shut down. Its a typical news race to see who can cover what the fastest, followed by scores of commercials about how fast they were. Bitches.

Matt Hall,
Todd Rundgren

2003-10-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Snoother," The For Carnation

Ol' Dirty Bastard - aka Dirt McGirt, aka Big Baby Jesus - gave a concert last night and I was in attendance. It was at the Knitting Factory, this pretty small place in Tribeca, packed with hipsters. So much pomp, so much ceremony, so much idolotry of Ol' Dirty. Totally awesome. When he came out on stage (after about twenty five minutes of shoutouts and introductions from the other MCs) the crowd went totally nuts. Dirt McGirt himself, with a completely expressionless face, hobled out onto stage, drunk as shit. Supremely awesome.

Oh yeah - the opening band? The Dillenger Escape Plan. That's right. Fucked some asses up. They closed with "43% Burn" and the place nearly destroyed itself. I will lay it down right now. Best performance ever. I didn't think that they'd be able to match the intensity of their songs with their stage presence, but they did. The screamingest lead singer - ever. Really. Fucking shit. Totally jacked, screaming his damn throat out. The guitar play would scream along, jumping off his cabinet, slinging his axe around his torso on the strap...right into insane, flawless finger taps, all the while snarling, screaming, spitting, chaning between 11/8 and 3/4 and 5/9 and God knows what else, all at lightning speed. Needless to say, I was impressed. I was pretty much laughing the whole time because I simply had no other response.

That's about it. What are everyone's Xmas plans? I'll probably be in Motown for two weeks or so, not quite sure exactly when yet. Cheers, bips!

Love,

Brian

2003-10-07T23:43:00.000-07:00

Captured! By Robots, holy shit. This time he did the Ten Commandments. The guy was dressed like Moses (but still with the mask and chains and shit) and the Guitar- and Drum-bots were Egyptians and the big ape was God and the little one was Jesus. Ten songs, one for each commandment and he had "The Ten Commandments" playing on a big sheet. I only saw the last two songs but they were nuts. He had some crazy ska-action (SKAction) going for #10. Oh yeah, the horn section was skeletons.

2003-10-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, I forgot, I saw your ass on the Indep, fag. Nice.

The best part of that article was the Haikus by "Stoner" Steve Bichner or whatever. Perfection, bitch. That is what Jay's Upstairs is/was, in a nutshell.

2003-10-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

Fong for the fay (yeah, you like that, fuck?): "Pow R. Toc H.,,,," Pink Floyd

Having that shit autographed is the coolest thing ever. Fucking Ever. I'd rub the Lee Oskar sig on my dick.

I have a couple of Subsonics singles autographed. Err, ahem.

I have not heard the new Outkast CD, but have heard the singles. I like them, but the Andre 3-gaysand is most certainly not rap. I like it though. I downloaded a few of the Big Doi(dal) tracks and I dig them. But, I think it would have been if they had collaborated and made one crazeee-ass, end-all, funk-hop (copyright 2003, Matt's Mouth Inc.) album. I just got a real version (read: not varying quality ass shit CDR) of "Stankonia" and that is some shit. I used to think that only the singles were awesome, but I've decided the whole thing is.

Pink Floyd's first album is some fucking awesome sauce on surround sound computer speakers. It's full on like me using Fruityloops' panning feature. Yipppeee!

I got 3 "It's a Beautiful Day" albums for $1/2 dollars the other day. And the Mothers' "Overnite Sensation." If you hit Record Heaven on just the right day you can score some shit. Had I gone there later, I bet it'd be gone.

Oh, and Chuck Mangione's first album (?) "Friends and Love" or whatever "Live." That's some good shit. Way better than "Children of Shit-tez"

Hate,
Matt Hallocaust

2003-10-02T03:34:00.000-07:00

This """""blog"""" has been (douche)brewin' for like a week now:

Some songs of the day of the last week:

Song of the Day: "Shock Body," Talib Kweli
Song of the Day: "Desert Skies," Marshall Tucker Band
Song of the Day: "Don't Kno the Title," RZA
Song of the Day: "Paperback Writer," The Beatles

And, in accordance with my weekly-ass-blogging,

Album of the Week: "On Your Feet or on Your Knees," Blue Oyster Cult

I have nothing of importance to relate to you. So let's. . . just. . . go. . . to. . . . . .

CHRIS'S NOTES, (voice drops 2 octaves) NIGGGGGUHHHH!!

-Has anyone heard the new Outkast Double CD? I have only heard the singles, the one from the Big Boi disc and the one from the Andre 3000 disc. I prefer the A3000 song slightly, but my overall feeling is: I miss them rapping. Instead of them having a disc per person, I would rather them do one disc goofy and experimental, and one disc straight bitch-funk rap. I think we need a Big Boi solo album. Or maybe I'm just jumpin the gun. Maybe the singles are just singles and the album actually rulezzzz. 2B CN. UC? IC! We C, Bitch!!!

-Just to illustrate how crazy records (and in particular, 50c records) can be in Portland, guess what I bought change last night? 5 frigkin' Righteous Brothers albums. G-G-G-G-G Unit!!!!!

-I know a guy who just sucessfully completed his goal. He got went to bed piss-drunk every night during the month of September. I tip my cizap to theee!

-I heard a song from the most recent Steely Dan album (Everything Must Go, 2003) and, for real, it sounded like it could have been from 75. No sit.

-Public skin, part one: A few nights ago, I was walking downtown and I saw, parked right on the street, people fucking in the back of a small 90s japanese 4 door sedan. Ballsy.

-Someone that I work with at the mall got a knife pulled on them, in the store 2 days ago.

-The newest (2002, I believe) Talib Kweli album is phe-phreaking-knomiknal. I am like that good intentioned girl who still likes the bad boys when it comes to my wrap albums. I like to say that I want something sensitive and concious, but really, I want just as much "I kill everything/fuck everything/am better than everything" party music, too.

-I really really hate computers. In particular, this one. Homo displays this blog on a screen!!! Hahahahahahahhaahhahahahaha!!

-I helped some German Womens World Cup soccer players in the store today. While I'm trying to recall basic German from high school, they are hugeass European celebrites who look sort of like men.

-Apparently, the country of Ecuador has such a nation-wide problem with being late, that they have a huge national program to wipe out tardiness. They syncronized their watches today, no sit. It was estimated that the country as a whole lost something like 700 million dollars due to late-asses last year.

-Public skin, part two: My friend Erin was riding her bike home last night at around 9PM and turned a corner at an intersection. There she saw a bum guy, laying on his back at the edge of the street with his shirt up to his neck and his pants down to his knees, dikkk phlappin' around.

-I just realized a week or so ago that my copy of "Eric Burdon Declares WAR" (1970) (That I got for less than a dime) is autographed by every single member of WAR and Eric Burdon.

-Somebody told me last night that there is a rapper who goes by the name of "Cliff Pallet." And, guess what, he has a cleft pallet. Priceless.

OutBout 50000000000000000000000000000000!

Cover of Indep, (VD2O) NIGGGGGGUHHHHHH,
Chris

PS
Ass,
Badfinger

2003-10-02T01:51:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Bad Luck," Johnny Cash

I wish this were some kind of "read all the time" website/blog/journal where I could go off on funny/informative/not-that-funny-usually rants ( and lists) like somethingawful or something - but it's not. Still I have to get this out of my system.

Rules for ordering a pizza:
1. Tip the driver. If you don't want to tip, come pick it up you asshole.
2. Don't pay and\or tip in quarters (or *shudder* lesser coins). This is pretty much stealing from me. I can't give the manager quarters, I have to keep them. I have about $20.00 in quarters right now. Yeah, it's money, but fuck, it sucks.
3. Turn on your God-damned porchlight at night, faggot. Have you ever tried to find some address in a trailer park over the Scott St. bridge? Pretty hard, huh? Now try it in the dark buttface. Fuck.
4. If your house is in the back of someone's property (e.g. 408 Raymond being behind 406 Raymond) specify in your order, especially after dark. Not everyone is you. I don't instinctively know your location.
5. Paying with a credit card does not exempt you from tipping. Just write it on the receipt, Einstein.
6. If you must tip in alcohol, don't do it at 4 pm. I got no use for that.

Better Ingredients, Better Pizza,
John Schnatter

2003-09-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Joy Inside My Tears," Stevie Wonder

Well, I don't really have a lot to say, but I feel bad that this has become a Matt Hall personal diary. So bad that I nailed his mom. Here goes. . .

Not only will No be formed, but also Neil Old. His shit is totally ripe for fun-making of, vicious-style.

This is kind of funny. Check out the names of the songs on the 70's pre-disco funk band Brass Construction's first album.

1. Movin'
2. Peekin'
3. Changin'
4. Love
5. Talkin'
6. Dance

Awesome. Bonus track: 7. Railin' (Karen Overland (and concieving 3 half-breed children))

In semi-related news, I am trying to get this saying to catch on: "Once you go white, you know it feels right." Feel free to Johnny Appleseed this shit.

I guess I thought that gay bathhouses couldn't exist or something, but I was wrong. I remember reading about this place when it got built, but I just recently realized where it is. (And started going.) Man, gay guys sure are rich.

Oh, hey, before I forget, how do you find the websites that show what is being searched for right now, or the ones that show the craziest things people search for?

Fargenpipe Z,
Chris

2003-09-25T05:18:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Little Kings," The Joggers

I don't really have much to say except this . . . Generally when I post on this shit really drunk I'm embarassed afterward. I seriously can barely look at it for a couple days post-drunk. I always know that it will be stupid and I wish my computer had a breathalyzer or something but I still manage to post some gay-ass shit. Regardless (irregardless, if you're gay) I always remember vaguely what I wrote and am usually thoroughly ashamed.

Anyway, the last post I "posted" or "Blogged," I can not remember at all. But it's pretty good, so I believe congratulations are in order. Especially considering I vomitted all over my floor and wrote something about George W. Bush being a fascist on my grocery list that same night, assumedly just prior or just after the post. I wish I could remember seeing the Band. They're really fucking good.

To find the websites where it shows what's being searched, you go to a "meta-"search or voyuer page. I used to know where to go, but after a semi-exhaustive search I can't find one any more. Fuck, it's really frustrating. I used to look at this all the time. They used to be all over, but now that there's way fewer search engines, it's kinda disappeared.

Just a little note: Chris Pickolick is an anagram for "Oil Chick Pricks." Sicko, tranny weirdo. Fucking Furry, probably.

2003-09-24T02:25:00.000-07:00

2003-09-21T02:00:00.000-07:00

Jesus Chrie-eist.

Tonight I turned on NBC (about at 3 or 4 in the morning courtesy of the Volumen (and Bob Marshallllllll))) and I saw The Band giving a performance. It was amazing. Out of no where they performed, "The Night They Drove Ol' Dixie Down." And it rocked. That's all.

It wasn't really out of no where, I'm drunk. Funk........................

Badmotorfingerm,
Lightneneidndg Boltassboltgayorsomething.

2003-09-20T21:24:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Drag" FoF

I remember being slightly disappointed when "The New Professionals" came out but now it seems like a high point for the band. Drag? Glassjaw? That first song? Engaging, great songs. Not many on the new one.

Just to let you guys (Chris Sickledick, Brian on alternating weekends) the International Playboys have a song on their new album called, "2113." Unfortunately it's not a a 20-minute long epic, point by point contradiction of 2112 (by Rush, Bri-guy), No-style.

One day No will be formed. Chris Pickolick - Guitar, Max Allan - Drums, That guy from Record Heaven, Rolley - Something, Me - keyboards.

2003-09-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Baby Blue" Badfinger
Song of the day: "Without You" Badfinger
Song of the day: "The Mexican" Babe Ruth

Goddamnit I hate computers and the internet. Some shit set my home page to gayville promoland without my knowledge and it came with about 10 pop-ups. It took me about 2 minutes to fix (closing one brought two, etc.). Fuck. Also, I get pop-ups when nothing is open. I hear that certain programs have pop-ups just built in. Like Microsoft has screening software and then cuts deals to not screen certain things. Fuck this gay-ass gayy. I don't really understand the logic. Like if I can't get past the 56th ad I'll just decide to refinace my home that I don't have through some flashing internet ad. It's like I'm looking for the whitehous homepage and I go to http://www.whitehouse.com and decide, "hey, porn, time to pay and jerk."

Fuck, I forgot what I was going to write. Something about Badfinger? They rule.

Hate,
Bilham Cobly

2003-09-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

Some various Songs of the last few Days:

Song of the Day: "Only So Much Oil in the Ground," Tower of Power
Song of the Day: "The Watcher," Dr Dre
Song of the Day: "New Potatoe Caboose," Grateful Dead
Song of the Day: "P.I.M.P.," 50 Cent

This is awesome! Check this out. Also the creator, Seth McFarlane is making a new cartoon for Fox, more political this time. As far as I'm concerned, this guy can do no wrizong.

Well, I wanted to see Cake and Cheap Trick tomorrow, but I don't think it's gon' happen. The want 35 geedee bux. Probably cause it's their "Endless Summer" or whatever an(al)nual fe(a)stival. I guess I was hoping the tix would be cheap(!!!!!)er because this is Cake's deal and the one guy is pretty political and anti-everything. I always look for reasons why the tickets should be cheaper. Sucks, I really want to see Cake some day. Comfort Eagle!! Comfort Eagle!! 35, though! What a CHEAP TRICK!!!! That really takes the CAKE!

Love,
Chris

Oh, P.S. Taco Bell has brought back the Spicy Chicken Burrito, at least here in Portiface. Im sure I have whined to all of you about how the SCB is the best promotion Taco Bell has ever had and how SCBs are the best thing to eat drunk. Well, now I can shut up. If Jack in the Box will bring back the $1 Western Jack I'll be set.

2003-09-13T03:29:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: Neil Young, "Transformer Man"
Song of the day: Johnny Cash, "Ballad of Ira Hayes"

Today I was watching MTV for some reason around noon and they had some report about Johnny Cash. After about a minute I realized he must be dead. (otherwise why would they spend so much time on this shit?). I hate MTV. The only time they pay any attention to someone like him is if he dies. For example, his latest video was easily the best video of the year - hands' down. But J. Timberlake won. If Johnny had been dead he might have one. I don't know what my point is, but, fuck, this sucks. He was an original. Folsom Prison Blues was his second or third single. A totally badass song that he actually wrote himself. Elvis? Fuck that fuck. His songs ran the gamut between Oh-Lord songs (some really fucking good ones) and laments involving cocaine and murder. An original for sure.

John Ritter just died too. That's weird.

I've been listening to "Trans" by Neil Young a lot recently (like 5 times a day). God, that's a really great album. Transformer Man live on.

2003-09-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

P.S., Happy Birthday to Buddy Miles and Loudon Wainwright III. They're both 57.

2003-09-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "The Fletcher Memorial School," Pink Floyd

Faack. The worst thing is that GW had to agree to that because of likeness copyright or whatever. On a related note, Sept. 11 is now officially "Patriot Day." I thought we already had like twelve of patriot daze (Flag Day, Independence Day, Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day (at least according to all the flags flying in Labor Day sale ads)) but what do I know? We might as well go and declare Christmas "America Day." Actually, I kind of like that idea.

Love Beach Jogger Shorts,
ELP

2003-09-05T00:57:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Sing this all Together," Rolling Stones

Okay, check this shit out. I can't even look at that face anymore. Gngnggnnnngngnggngnggngnnghh.

Huddy Bolly,
Chris

2003-09-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Bacon Industry," KARP

Best Buy should have the Mr. Show thing. If they don't, it's probably sold out.

Snake,
Bite

2003-09-03T23:50:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "The Treasure (part 1)," Stephen Stills

Just got back from The Faketrix Retarded. It was the gayest-assed gay gayfest my gay eyes have ever seen (gayed). I can see why so many dorks and fourteen year-olds like it - it's just like a video game! The plot is really good, for a video game. Ditto the special "FX" effects. For a movie, fuck... Seriously the fight scenes were all slow motion, fast motion, spin, slow motion, fast motion, spin, ad fucking nauseum. Also, I like movies with endings. You know what don't have endings? Comic books. I was hoping this would be a movie. (But maybe life is just a comic book, it was meant to be, you never can tell in the matrix, *fart* *fart* poooooooooot!!!!).

I got Neil Young's new album a few days ago but the jury's still out. It's like 80 minutes long and a bunch of the songs are clock in >10 minutes, but the music is pretty simple. Yes, even simple for Neil Old. Lots of words in every song, lots of ranting (anti-media, anti-consumerism, anti-environmental apathy) too. The concept is totally stupid-old-hippy-ish.

No crickets in Missoula.

I went to three different places looking for Mr. Show. No luck. Aren't these "big box" retailers supposed to have everything? However, I can get Will & Grace dvd sets if I want. No thank you.

Love,
Cache (my new Gaytrix name)

2003-09-02T01:01:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Classic Girl," Jane's Addiction

Well, I'm back to the old grind(stone(d)). Good to see Missoula in all of its smokey glory, though.

One night I was watching cable TV at my parents house (this is a luxury cause I don't have cable here in poopland) and I found myself watching Comedy Central for like 2.5 hours straight or something. Reno 911 is retarded, but I really like it. Crank Yankers was hilarious, I thought. I was never much into Jerky Boys/prank calling type stuff, but the muppets adds the extra layer I needed. Great puppets, too. Then, the kicker. The episode of the Chappelle Show that I saw was goddamn hilarious. That guy slays me. Totally Recommended. Kiss the Ring, Bitch!

Also recieving my endorsement is the Mr. Show Season 3 DVD set. More brilliance here. I wolfed down the five or so (out of ten) episodes I hadn't seen in 3 days, I think.

Hey, by the way, do you hear crickets making the TV soundeffect "Nighttime" chirp in Missoula? I can't remember if you could or not. New York? This is pointless, but-- what about Eugene, Loukiss? I ask because I love the sound, and there are many crickets in my neighborhood. Black crickets. Brickets. Ha! Briquettes! You know what we do with those!! What? Who said that?????????????? What?? Whut? Whut? You don't need to work to get your Mayo!! Just go back to slingin'!! Whut?

Love,
Dyke Farge

PS, Brian "Broken Helmet" Helmet, that Darigold millionheir dude got his tattoos (and demeanor) from an Oregon Prison. When I saw him, he was about 5 days removed from a 10 year sentance, and he was well on his way to wearing gucci, buying a Bentley and driving it into Lake Osweego. Of course, he'll only know that those things are cool, trendy things to do once he soaks up enough MTV and BET and SUK and shit. God, I hate how rich people just follow the plan. . .

2003-08-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

god, I hate computers

2003-08-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Do the Doo," the J.B.s

From the Missoulian:

"People in Seeley Lake were hitting the panic button," he said. "There was ash falling on town, and it was so smoky you couldn't tell where the fire was or how fast it was moving."

I guess we'll have to "play it by ear," as the saying goes! I think, however, if we bring enough hoses, and if we can keep the cabin watered down, we oughta be just fine (I'm Andy Fisher). What?

I'm glad to know that million-heirs can, in fact, fall REALLY far from the tree and totally screw up and still have a shitload of money. Getting a bunch of crazy jailhouse tats (and on your head) and blowing a bunch of money on sporting goods is way cooler than being a whiny baby and wearing Gucci and driving the Bentley into Lake Como or whatever. Way to go, guy!

Much love. I'm at Flathead. It's really smoky. Will be in Missoula Sunday afternoon. Talk to y'all soon.

Love,

Brian

2003-08-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Exciter," Judas Priest

http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2003/08/13/news/local/news02.txt

Shit, man, I hope Cabinfest '03 part 1 doesn't get recalled. Ooooop!

2003-08-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Caballo Diablo," Charlie Daniels Band
Song of the day: "Ab's Song," Marshall Tucker Band

You all should check out charliedaniels.com. It's pretty hilarious. He has these rants posted and the most recent one is about evolution, specifically how it's a bunch of bullshit. The intro to the site shows him playing some crazy, jingoistic song, "In America." The lyrics are predictably retarded but the music slays. Triple guitar attack! All those country fags should take a cue from big Chuck.

The California thing is shit. Yeah, Gray Davis is responsible for the "dotbomb" (titter) and Enron gaming and fucking over the state during the so-called energy crisis. Fuck Arnold, by the way. His quoting himself constantly is retarded. My vote goes to Gallagher - he'll smash the budget crisis like a peeled watermelon.

I came up with "dotbomb" myself.

Actually, no.

Volumen are/is? playing on Saturday. It's their last show at Gay's.

Like a coastal barranca,
Scatman Hall

2003-08-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

blogger sux

2003-08-10T17:51:00.000-07:00

Man, that is Awesome! The (david (hall (has ((gay underground cult figure) brian overland is) gay-producing semen))) banner at the top of this page must show ads relating to what us and what we type, because right now it has a link for where to buy Ram Jam CDs. Ha! Oh, and also one for Brian's gay underground cult figure fan site.

Chris's notes, PS

-Farge.com is available now. I think we should all pitch in! Or in Brian's case (of S(emen)T(astes)D(elicious, says Brian)s), Bitch in!

Going forward in time and hacking into 21 year old Chris Pickolick's computer,
13 year old Chris Pickolick

2003-08-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Eternity's Breath Parts 1 & 2," Mahavishnu Orchestra
Song of the Day: "Working Man," Rush

I forgot to tell: When I saw Rye Coalition, they had like 3 roadie/guitartechs with lanyards and all. It was just pretty funny to see them in full on rock star status.

As Y'all can probably imagine, the Foam front/trucker hat shit is plain out of control here in Portlund. With some circle (jerks!) of friends that you see out at a bar or show, there will be a 75% trucker hat wearing percentage. Everybody does it! And it has been spreading to the urban crowd. It is pretty common to see some jersey-wearin' hoodrat sporting an Air Jordan meshback hat too. Well, as long as we can all assure one another that we are cooler than everyone else, right? I know we were all wearing them (occasionally, people!) like 4 years ago. Take that!

I propose a Miami Vice: The Band show at Higgins Hall while I am back in town. Any takers? Are the Volumen playing soon? Is it on Saturday?

Karaoke is also a go. I did a little myself recently at the Matador, "Travelin' Band," CCR. My only requirement? The songs I sing MUST require falsetto at all times, or I ain't touching them.

Meanwhile, the California recall: What the Fuck?!?!?! Is America actually trying to make itself look more and more goddamn stupid to the rest of the world? Florida recount and now this?? I mean, as far as I know, Grey Davis did nothing wrong, did he? It's probably just a bad time to be the Gov. of California, no? What with the aftermath of the internet (I refuse to say dotcom, fags) job crash. I mean, so Republicans don't like having a Dem. governor, so they just call for a new one?? Is this shit even constitional? Please, seriously, someone help me out, I am sort of late to the party with all of this. I figured out what was going on really late.

And now. . . You know you wanted it!!
Chris's Notes!!!

-I scored some original Chiclets at Dollar Tree the other day!! 6 boxes for a dollar!! Cool, huh? No? Shut up.

-I got to work at Lloyd Center the other day, and there were cop cars everywhere, two at each entrance, (there are a lot of entrances, BeeTeeW) FBI guys running around with machine guns, and FBI and news choppers swarming the shit. Turns out this guy (who had already robbed three of the nearby banks in the last month or so) robbed another one, and was hiding in LC. Of course they didn't close or anything. $$$$$$$$$ Anyway, I saw a lot of machine guns that day. Also, a few weeks before, some dude was waving a gun around and was arrested at gunpoint at the same time as a bunch of nards were arrested at gunpoint in the parking lot, for stealing cars, I think.

-They may not tour much, but everyone be on the look out for a band called Occifer. They are, I believe, one of the best, if not the best band in Pland right now. Sort of Drunk Horsey, badass. The drummer is in Party Time and he used to be in the Mercury Birds, in North Carolina (I think), and buddies with Cherry Valence. Anyone (hazily remember that show? Robins, I bet you do/don't. Anyhoo, they kick out a note for note Thick Lizzy "Cowboy Song," too.

-Portland has the coolest Ice cream truck jingles. There are at least a dozen ones I hear regularly, ranging from "It's a Small World" complete with Looney Tunes sound effects (boyeeeyoeeeyoeeeyoeeeyoeeeng), to all the classics, to straight up weird techno songs. I heard the best the other day, though, Tetris!

-I met this guy the other day. He is a white trash lookin' guy, sort of dirty, with prison tattoos ALL OVER his body, just crazy shit. (My favorite is the "BITCH KILLER" tattoo on the side of his head) This cat spends hundreds of dollars at least 2 times a week. He can afford to spend so much because his father owned Darigold. I am not sure of the details, but the dad died at one point, and the company was sold (to hershey's, I believe) and the inheritance, EIGHTEEN POINT SIX MILLION DOLLARS, was to be givin to dude.

-Spied a a boat being pulled behind a truck yesterday and the boad said "FISH SLAYER" in block letters on the side. Where have you gone Andy Fischer? Gone Fishin'??? Har!

Cargelis,
Chris

2003-08-10T02:24:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Jesus Gave His Love Away For Free," Stephen Stills, Manassas

Saw Steppenwolf at the fair tonight. Gayyyyy..... I went with C-Bau as he got free tickets from his mom. We saw them play stuff from a '96 album and, and, and, the guitarist's solo album. Fuck... suck fest '03, it was. John Kay kept building up songs to make it seem like it was "Born To Be Wild," but then they weren't (like talking about motorcycles and Harley's 100 anniversary and shit).

We went to the VFW and did kareoke. It rules!!! We (Chris, Chris and Brian and I) have to do it when you're in town. We did "Takin' Care of Business" and "Stairway to Heaven." I totally nailed the guitar solo on Stairway with air guitar. It was awesome. Some purist regulars took issue with us, accusing us of butchering songs, but ehh... "White Rabbit," will be mine one day. Oh yes.

Sincerely,
Gray Davis

2003-08-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

Sotd: "Black Betty," Ram Jam
Songotd: "Blinded by the Light," Eminem's eBay

Last night I had a crazy two hour talk with Mike Doerner about string theory and dark energy and being a "searcher" and alternative energy sources. If he's not bullshitting, he's trying to find some way to harness the sun's power into concentrated energy.

Also last night I hung out with P-diddy Robins and John Harrington at the Iron Horse and Sean Kelly's. Really not my scene. Some fag was playing accoustic guitar and singing Sublime and Radiohead songs. As I was walking home some guys shouted, "hey long-hair!" at me. I shouted something about Quicksilver Messenger Service and ran away. Good times.

Strong to the finish cuz I eats me spinach,
Popeye

2003-07-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry doods, I have no "SOTD" ideas today.
Yo, I'm back in zoo city, and lookin to get some quality time away from the ol' ball n' chain. Flathead cherries anyone?
When IS cabinfest 03 anyway. Holla back.

2003-07-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "What's This World Comin' To," Chicago

I hate this foam-front caps = hip thing. Why does everything I think is cool (cool=retarded) have to be co-opted by some faggy fag hipsters? If I were to start dressing like a fucking Inuit or something there'd be yokels doing the same thing but with designer toothed-spears and bone knives.

I forgot to say this about the DT's. I imagine that everytime they play with a band like Fed X or the FoF that those poor saps have to come up to Crider and tell him how great the show was. I can't imagine a band like Federation X liking it at all.

The Blood Brothers lost my interest when I heard their second CD. Too pretentious. The whole "it's also a short story" thing just got me down. It's a shitty gay short story. Fuck, I already have Genesis albums. By the way, the Blood Bros will never be as hardcore as the Beach Boys. "Meet at the Stony Spikes above Homo Peak" or whatever is no "Good Vibrations."

I don't know what A. Fisch is doing. Fixing drive-trains? In Alaska? I guess I could email the dousche.

Rare Girth,
Matt Hallocaust

2003-07-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "He'll Never Love You Like I Do," The Spinners

At work, unable to get anything done but look at porn and read SomethingAwful.com. And post a post. Sitting in the back room of the gallery, listening to the Spinners and doing nothing. I really want a dog; I'm sick of not having one.

Speaking of shows, I saw the Blood Brothers a few weeks back. I thought it was going to be a supersweet diarrhea fest freakdown, but it was not that. It was more of a trucker-hat/black hair dye/NYC art student convention and a bunch of singing along. A hardcore band, in my opinion, loses its edge when it has enough song parts that the audience can actually sing along to. I swear, the Blood Brothers are the fucking Beach Boys of hardcore, especially with all the bullshit audience participation and singing along. All that lameo "ok, when we get to this part you all sing along!" crap. One of the few instances where the live show ruined the band for me. Usually, of course, it's quite the opposite, but I'm going to look into selling my BB cds because I know I'll never listen to them again. They sound so hard on CD and so lame in concert.

REALLY looking forward to CabinFest03. What about Andy? Any word? We will, of course, need someone to keep up the fishery.

(face raised to Heaven and fists clenched, ringing at the void) WHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!!!!

Love,

Brian

2003-07-30T03:16:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Red Rubber Ball," The Circle
Cover of the Day: "Communication BreakDOWN," Rye Coalition

Just got back from the Rye concert. Farge, I am deaf now. They played pretty well, but jesus, those guys have a some serious Zeppelin-envy or something. It's like seeing a cover band somehow.

Heard: W.L. Rosie, The Lipstick Game, Communication Breakdown

The DTs guy has awesome tone. I realize awesome tone does not a non-shitty, cool hard soul make, but regardless.

Love,
Chris

PS Drummer guy is pretty fat

2003-07-30T00:28:00.000-07:00

Song of the day:"All Summer Long," The Beach Boys

Just got back from the Int'l Playboys/DT's/Immortal Lee County Killers show and I have to say, "Goddamn the DT's suck." It was strictly Jay's Downstairs/Top Hat fare. Shitty ass shit shit. This man owns Estrus Records, yet he can not be in a better band? Just because some bitch you knew in high school sings over your AC/DC rip-off music doesn't mean you are in a soul band. Excuse me, "Hard Soul." Seriously, can we get a moratorium on the description "soul" yet? These guys had about as much soul as the late addition keyboard player to Grand Funk while sleeping, divided by a thousand (one grand, hahahahaha). It sucked. Hard sucked.

The ILC killers were pretty good. The dude's crazy custom-made, huge, hollow/or is not guitar got some sweet sounds. They should have played first and also added the other 3/5 of the Quadrajets. Then I would have stayed the whole set.

Happy 101st birthday, Bob Hope!

2003-07-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Where Eagles Dare," Iron Maiden
Song of the day: "Alexander the Great," Iron Maiden

I scored a bunch (3) Iron Maiden albums yesterday and I haven't stopped cumming yet. Such a crazy, tight, "guitarmony-"drenched band. And the topics! Just nutty. All those Iron Maiden-sounding, bassless, instrumental bands should get a clue and get themselves a Dio-esque singer and cover topics like The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, the Battle of Britain, and Dune.

Noah has been notified of the cabinfest. He sounds down wit it. He even checked in with me to see about Nelly/Cabin conflicts. There are none, by the way.

I like the reverse of the joke better, too.

Eddie Lives!

2003-07-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Medley: Ike's Mood I/You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'," Isaac Hayes
Song of the Day: "You Better You Bet," The Who

Well, I heard a new Dirt McGirt song, and rapping is nothing special, but I can hardly remember because the beat is so atrocious. I don't know if anybody else follows rap or even listens to rap radio, but there have been like 4 versions of this one beat. It sounds sort of like the Wayne Wonder song (which I don't mind), but with no instrumentation besides lame computerized claps (instead of very few instruments on WW's). Then there is this really REALLY out of key (she can't even sing along with HERSELF) chick, Loony D, I think, singing. I have heard one version with Busta Rhymes and Fabolus, too. ANYWAY, the D McG song is almost the same and exactly as nauseating. I sure hope it isn't the only single we hear.

A joke from L. Macaroni Gobeo:

Q: Why is Aspirin white?
A: Because it works.

Or, In my opinion, vice versa. Uh, my opinion of the joke, mind you. Ahem.

Speaking of L. Manacotti, he DOES have a girl(boy)friend!! That slick insanely-long-haired bastard.

Cabinfest: I am Game as hell, bitches. Probably no Gobeo. Possibility of BLowney, though. Becky?

For some morbid reason, I am very amused by the urgency of the Gov't to show photos of DeadSaddamnSons. However, I am speculating that a nice grey or white shirt with said pictures on it would be sweet. Oh, and something witty and Redneck-ish like "Anybody else wanna Play?" or "The Sun(s) has set!!" or something.

Out like a bout,
Snake

2003-07-19T03:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had to drive some van for some retards (their van) and I thought of this. Where will all of Jay's's underage drinking go? That was seriously some formative motherfucking shit. It doesn't matter really, everky band that's drunk has drunk at Jay's'.

I went to some party where Megan Baumann's' been trying to be the next drunk dude place to go. They made some disparaging comments about me (duh, really) and then tried to host some shit where they were across the street from the legion field. I don't know what that field is called,... but whatever. The cops came and hosted their little party.

They were saying how they'd have other bands come for a show there (i.e. the Makers coming (no fucking joke!!!))and I was one of the stoner dudesssss. Dosen't make sense? Yeah file a complaint. A "bong"plaint.

2003-07-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Big Faggot Gay-fest," One Point Plan

So check this out. Metallica has gone way, way too far. They're crazzeeee! Crazef! This should be a joke.

I guess the Jay-Z liquor license is not being sold to the Olive Garden. It's being sold to some casino, which is just what Missoula needs more of.

I think the first time I went to Jay's was for an all-ages show in the afternoon with the Corruptors (of Male Heterosexuality), the Sputniks, Humpy and some other band. Afterwards I walked with Brian, Katie, and Julie to Brian's house and I found two dollars on the train tracks and used it to buy a couple of cheeseburgers from McDonald's. I think that was the first time I met Satya outside of history class also (worst day of my life). I don't remember the first non-all-ages show I went to but I went to see the Volumen a bunch of times when Brian was drumming. I would get really drunk courtesy of my poorly made fake I.D. and shout at Brian while he played. Ahh, good times. I hope they don't sell Brian too.

August 14,
Nelly and the St. Lunatics.

2003-07-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Original Spies," Karate

Yeah, I read that article at work today. Fuck, I'm still at work. HAHAHAHA - am I working hard...or hardly working!!!!!!! You tell me, bossman. Dontcha lemme catchu alookin ova my shoulda, bossman! HISS.

Good point about the touring bands, Chris. Missoula is, of course, that place to play between Minneapolis and Seattle, or Denver and Spokane, or what have you, and bands could easily fall out of the routine of making a stop there on their tours, though I guess that's up to the promoters in town. No matter what kind of tradition you have, it needs space. Jays wa(i)s the space for the Missoula punk/hardcore/garage/whatever tradition - Baumann and I (he more than me) would sneak in there at age 15 and shit to see shows, and I think it's clear that without its being there our interests in music would have developed much differently. I don't imagine that this is different for kids now age 15 sneaking into Jays to see shows, except soon enough young kids with punk tendencies won't have a place to sneak into. I guess there is Higgins Hall, but that lacks the generational variety that Jays has. It sure felt cool to be 17 hanging out with aging Missoula rocksters; some of my favorite memories involve all those Jays elderfolk. For example, will aspiring younger punks be able to hob-nob with the likes of Andy Smetanka, Josh Vanek, and John Fleming (perhaps the 'pillars' of the Missoula 'punk' scene) without a haven like Jays? I hate to say it, but what about out-of-town college kids looking for rock? Surely I'm not going to moan on their behalf, but that article in the Missoula mentioned that Bozeman has a better 'scene' than Missoula now, and the closing of Jays surely affects this as well. What the fuck? Missoula is the cool city in Montana - a city with a strong undercurrent of vital hipsterism. Will this fade? I sure hope not.

More of my two cents to come later. 8/19-8/21 sounds good. Chris - you're coming, right? Louis? Gay?

Love,

Brian

2003-07-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

Song of the day:"That finger snapping song" Gentle Giant.

http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2003/07/16/news/local/news02.txt

We can indeed make the 19th our first day. I'm thinking 8/19-8/21. Mark the calenders, bitches.

2003-07-16T00:39:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Harold the Barrel," Genesis

One of the first things I thought of when I heard of Nojay '03 was the sluts. Can they relocate? Can they morph into, say, Feruqi's sluts? My best guess is that Charlie B's is the place to B (4 sluts). The worst thing is that this near-every-night music thing won't be duplicated. Like Chris, most of the shit wasn't up my alley, but there was a show there damn near always. And the local bands? Probably the Volumen, Oblio Joes and No-Fi will be able to get shows elsewhere. Everybody else is shit outta.

I think that Higgins Hall should just start serving beer and having hella-lotta shows. It'd get its funding and all taken away but, snuh.

FYI, Brian, Missoula has a limited amount of full-liquor licenses so each time one goes on sale it brings an assgrab of money. I heard maybe more than $200,000. If Jay was tired of having the bar, that'd be hard to pass up.

In other news: I saw Terminator "T3" 3 tonight. It slayed. It slew. It had a one million hour, sweet-ass car chase. They wrecked so many vehicles in the movie: cranes, cars, ambulances, hearses, helicopters, bigger helicopters.

I. Am. A. Machine.

2003-07-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Renegade," Thin Lizzy
Song of the Day: "The Magician," Return to Forever
Song of the Day: "Hot in Here," Nelly

Sad, really. A jay's-less Missoula is a Missoula not as cool, period. It is the only place in town where you can see a band playing music that means something to them (almost) every night. I will admit much of the shite trotted out on stage isn't really my bag, but I respect the fact that it is real. And besides, from the standpoint of out of town bands on tour through MSLA, where will many of them play? Jay's wa(i)s a delightful catch-all for smalltime and bigtime weirdass bands alike. Hiss! And what of the hangout atmosphere? I am easily the most comfortable in Jays of all Missoula bars. And what of the Jay's barflys? Where will the Slut-squad relocate to? (This means you, Becky. Ha! Um, and your mom too. Ha!)

The whole thing sort of parallels the Portland/Satyricon fiasco in the sense that a whole segment of people are losing their home turf. Of course it is much more disastrous for Missoula, because some bands can't play anywhere else. Bands that played Satyricon have at least a few alternatives.

I want an exact figure for the tranaction. Anyone? .5 million? Seven one-thousanths of a Unit?

Enough Bellyaching from me. I am visibly disappointed because this really sucks. Shit, why exactly does Allof (the) Garden (city'smusicisgone) need a goddamn liquor license anyway. Spaghetti w/ whiskey? What time of night does OG close? Farge. . .

And now . . . . Chris's notes!! <--- scrawled in childish crayon with the s's hilariously backwards

-Snoop Dogg is playing in Porntland soon, and his tickets went on sale at 4:20 on Thursday. I guess he is still on good terms with the ganj, even though he don't smoke no mo'. Tickets were $420.42 each.

-Some crazy researchers revealed recently that they believe the meaning of Stonehenge is actually an homage to female genatalia and fertility. Apparently, when viewed from above there is a vulva resemblance. Man, so many joke possibilities!! For instance: "Wow, that is one stone-cold box!!"

-A quote:
My new name is Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin The Barbarian Mother-Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir. . . My last name was Bushwick Motherfucking Bill, so I had to upgrade it to show some expansion and to show everybody who the biggest Geto Boy of all is. My new name is Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin the Barbarian Mother Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir.I call myself Dr. because that is someone who must be precise when they execute their job. The Wolfgang is because on the cool, I'm into classical music and my favorite artist is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Bushwickin has to do with me being a father now and producing my own next of kin. So now I'm reproductive both verbally and physically. The Barbarian is to show that I still have the mind of a lunatic and that nothing's changed as far as me coming hard-core rough and rugged. Mother Funky Stay High is a manifestation of the aftermath of chronic-izm. Dollar Bill because I'm currently currency in the United States and abroad. Finally, "stir" is on the end because when I kick shit I always manage to stir something up, whether it's the police, parents or pussy.
-Bushwick Bill, of the Geto Boys

-I made up that ticket price for the Snoop Show

-The Promise Keepers are coming to Poopland next month, and they have been playing hilariously infuriating radio commercials recently. It is such bullshit motivation ON THE FREAKING RADIO. Really retarded guilt trip crap like "are you up to the challenge of. . " blah blah blah a miliion times. We get it-- if we don't fork over the money to get shit pumped up our ass at your group ego-boost, then we are what's wrong with the universe.

-According to him, Louis Mario Gobeo has been shaqing up with some unknown chiquita!!! A real live one! These are all the details I was able to get at the time. Everyone, mass email!!!

-Did anyone hear anything about an ad campaign to get kids to have safe sex recently? I just barely caught a news report, but I saw enough to find out the spokescartoon is a hip, baggy clothes/knit cap wearing duude named (snick) Jimmy Hatz!!!!!!!!!!!! Bam!!!!

Olive (the time I am) Garden (myselffromyourmom'sSTDs,Becky!!)
Chris

2003-07-12T19:22:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Hey Joni," Sonic Youth

Excuse me while I go throw up. The Olive Garden is coming to town, and the owners of Jay's (bar) are selling their liquor license to them? What? Hey, I'm not going to say that I know much about liquor licensing in the [olive] Garden City, or what motivates the owners of our beloved Jay's to make such a decision, but I am going to be among the many to mourn this loss. I mean, fuck. I don't even know how many times I've done so much there. To say the least.

Something, obviously, will become of the space, and maybe it's too early to start lamenting Jay's loss, but really? Even though I now spend most of my time in New York, Missoula is still my home. This puts a real tear in my beer. I'm headed to a couple of parties tonight, and I'm going to get good and RIPped. Tonight, I drink to Jay.

Hate to be a real pisser for details, but as for CabinFest, might we line out some more specific dates? I'm going back to New York on Sat., August 23. Just a request: I don't know what y'alls' schedules are, but could we make the 19th the first day of our stay at Lake Placid? Who all is in? C'mon now, chime in, motherfuckers.

No more Jay's?

Love,

love-love

2003-07-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Wheel in the Sky," Journey

Olivegardenolivegardenolivegarden! Woooo! Missoula is getting a motherfucking olive garden baby. When my Uncle finally gets his citzenship we'll have a place to celebrate. I guess the ol' OG will be serving liquor because they got their liquor license from Jay's. End of July = no more Jay's. Looks like I might have to finally move out of this one-horse town.

Ooooooooo,
Barracuda

2003-07-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "The devil wears earplugs," The Joggers
Song of the day: "Romancing the Italian Horn" Rye Coalition

http://www.babyink.com/

The Placid Lake Battle Warriors brou-haha is "scheduled" for sometime after 8/19. That's when no one is renting anymore.

Class of 2000,
Matt

2003-07-09T07:04:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Missile ++," Blonde Redhead

Went to Vermont for the 4ourth. Saw a lot of cows. My girlfriend's family has a big "camp," and they had a big ol' crazy party with a hippy band made up of old folks, and two kegs. Her uncles are total pyromaniacs and are certified to do professional-grade fireworks shows. It was insane. SO many huge firework canons SO close to everyone. Jess' dad out on a makeshift fireworks barge, rather drunk, setting off HUGE mortors with short fuses. Needless to say, it was quite spectacular. Slept in a bunkbed above her grandfather, who happens to be a former governer of the state of Vermont. 'Twas rather weird sleeping above a snore-happy mofo ex-gov. Also a little weird that they made the gradfather sleep in a bunkbed, I suppose.

Not much else going on. Made flight reservations to come to Montana in August - flying in the 11th and leaving the 23rd. I'll be at Flathead from the 11th to the 17th. Something makes me think that Bomba SaddamOsama CabinFest-o-rama '03 was tentatively set ~8/19. Is this the case? Please advise.

Uh, Free Kobe!

Brian

2003-07-06T02:39:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Occapella," Ringo Starr
Song of the Day: "Vulcan Princess," Stanley Clarke

On Stanley Clarke's first solo album, he thanks L. Ron Hubbard and cites him as the greatest man on earth.

RIP (Russlin' 'Imself some Poontang) Barry White. Too much sex I guess. No wait! Too much Arbys. I heard he couldn't get enough of their food, babe.

Any cool 4ourth of July stories? None really here, other than breakin' out the FOGhat. I didn't go this year, but there is a huge annual FOJ party at this crazy skater house here in Pooland. The house is surrounded by warehouses and it has an enormous half pipe and fire pit in the backyard. Every year hundreds upon hundreds of insane drunken skaters shoot fireworks at each and bands play and people fight. People run through the fire and throw m-80s into the crowd and have half-pipe bottle rocket fights, 20 people at a time. I guess it is a national skater thing, on the fourth of july, the party is in portland, and every year there are tons of pro skateboarders there. When I went last year, I just felt at risk and uneasy. Well, apparently this year, some shit went down and the cops came, but people messed up the cop cars when they got there, so they had to call in riot mammerjammers. Buckwild!

Love,
SnakeKiller

2003-07-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "My Love is Free," Madura
Song of the Day: "Virgin Man," Smokey Robinson

The second song of the day is the soundtrack to Brian's provenancy. It, too is the opposite of Matt's mom: Slutty Woman.

I hope I don't go back to slingin' yayo,
to get my mayo.

2003-07-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Dynamite," Sly and the Family Stone

Today I'm doing provenance (the history of a work of art's ownership) research for a couple of sculptures we just bought in London, and one of the previous owners' names is, no joke, Sir Scarce Dickins. The opposite of Matt's mom's name, Dame Many Dickins.

Bye,

Brian

2003-07-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

Song of the day: "Angel," Fleetwood Mac

I've been totally digging on F-Mac's Tusk lately. That's a weird, weird album. All super poppy but really demented.

Tonight there were like thirty photographers downtown. They were all wearing backpacks and taking lame pictures of shit like the traffic on the bridge and me walking toward/away from them. I said, "why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer?" about five times to 'em.

I can't believe that those Missoula Battle Warriors have been battling every Sunday two blocks from my house and I haven't seen them. Next Sunday I'll be there. Maybe I'll take pictures. I also want to go to the NW regional "battle" at Johnsrud later this month. Maybe Chris can come up for that too.

Best name for a Byrds cover band - The Tern, Tern, Terns.

Now on HBO,
Super Dave Osbourne

2003-07-01T00:06:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,
The posting has been a little slow as on my part because nothing's really new in my life aside from perpetual weight gain and an occasional acid flashback..

No, For reals, I'm have been living in Silverlake Los Angeles for the past month and will be back in zoo city in late july. The barrio here is pretty nice, but as in most of LA, you have to get used to falling asleep to the hum of a ghetto bird (police chopper) and the jingle of cheech martin types selling ice cream from a wheelbarrow. I live across the street from "el parque de perros," if that paints a better picture of where I live.

LA violence has taken a surprisingly medevil twist lately. Just today a highway patrolman was shot with an arrow in the thigh while issuing a ticket. It was some old bastard taking cheap shots with a hunting bow from atop his roof. Also, in Irvine, some looney walked into Albertsons with a sword and started hacking away at whoever he could. He killed three people before the cops got to him.
In other news, I got drunk with my buddies from east LA and ended up on sunset blvd. and had to walk a few miles home. I also saw Beck on friday that ended with a wiley cover of Nelly's "hot in herre." As for me, I'm working as an intern editing a gonzo Mexican movie and trying to solicit echo park hookers. The streets of Los Angeles are paved with shit, and I love it.

With love, guacamole, and queso,
this chico's going to sleepo.

2003-06-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Morning Haze," Flash

MYDWYF, at least the way I interpreted, would equal "Midwife," in the annoying style of Womyn or wymyn or whatever the hell feminists do to distance themselves from the suffix "man." Plus, she was driving a volvo and had a shitstack of femi-bumperstickers. Come to think of it, I am pretty down with having baby talk on your lisence plate though.

Well, I'm not sure about the Karp story, but I would doubt Gobeo for one reason. You said "some of these songs?" Couldn't be Gobeo, cause that'd mean he'd have to listen to another song besides "Rowdy." PS on CDNOW, if you look at Karp's releases, it reccomends that you might like The Pretty Things.

Ten One Hundred,
Chris

2003-06-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

Dismemberment Plan: "Following Through"

Hate to admit that I'm not omniscent, but MYDWYF? What does that mean? Baby talk for [catch] "my drift?" No, probably not. Please enlighten.

I read Andy Smetanka's KARP write-up in the independent, and he said that "a friend of mine says he had an epiphany listening to some of these songs [from the S/T LP] while watching a video of attack helicopters." Naturally, the first person I thought of was Gobeo. Anybody know?

That's all; two questions. Sonic Youth was really, really good. They look old, but that's ok. Kim Gordon tried to dance and jump a little, but mostly she just stood up there looking really hot and really scary. Thurston Moore also looked really hot and really scary. My friend is Thurston Moore's nephew, and he says that every once and a while when he goes home he finds Kim Gordon and Uncle Thursty smoking a fat doob in the living room. I wish Thurston Moore were my uncle. They did a fifteen-minute noise 'jam' that was one of the best things I've ever heard live. Really, really impressive. I guess only Sonic Youth has the balls and the cred to do a fifteen-minute noise freak-out in front of a bunch of confused, slightly rained-upon Wilco fans. Wilco was really good too, but I was left wanting more SY. Sonic Youth played an encore after their set; their encore got a lot more applause than the Wilco's. Damn straight.

Anyway, please inform re. those two questions. And by "inform," I most surely mean "illucidate," if you catch MYDWYF.

Love,

Brian

P.S. Fuck. At least Creative Anachronism tries to be historical and shit or whatever. http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2003/06/30/news/top/news01.txt

2003-06-30T01:29:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day: "Ten Years Gone," Led Zeppelin

Actual personalized lisence plate spotted today: MYDWYF on a volvo slathered with bumber stickers such as "NO BLOOD FOR OIL" and the such.

Song of the Beer: "Ten Beers Gone," Lewd Zeppeling

Love,
Non Bone'dham